Sniffery doo dah, things are looking up

Sniffery doo dah
Sniffery dee
My oh my what a wonderful day!

I have done a bit of Doogling and have discovered that humans have a similar song to the one in the doggy world – it is called ‘Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah’. How ridiculous! What in the world does ‘Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah’ mean? I mean, in the vastly superior doggy world, our version is obvious … I sniff and quite often it is doo dah if someone hasn’t picked up like they should have done! Anyway, there I was out on one of my short walks and ‘Sniffery doo dah’ just sort of popped into my head. You see, I am feeling much better. My hip hasn’t popped out and my walking is good. I even sit better on my new hip than I do on my other hip. I only wish I could go on a longer walk. It is really a bit of a nuisance being restricted to just three short walks a day. Mind you, there is one good thing – I am definitely regaining my strength and I can pull like a freight train again. Of course he moans about me pulling, but that’s just tough.

Because I am on restricted movement still, I have found that watching a bit of telly helps the time to pass. I quite like a bit of Lorraine in the morning, but that Jeremy Kyle, what on earth do they think they look like? I can’t bear it, so I bark for him to turn it over so that I can watch a bit of ‘Homes under the Hammer’. He doesn’t watch telly with me, he slinks off to his study and I get to spend some quality time on my own. Don’t misunderstand me, it is quite nice to have company most of the time, but actually a little time on my own without him is quite nice too! I know I am not supposed to jump and I don’t – I have found a way to very carefully climb onto the sofa and settle down to a bit of TV. Mind you, as each day passes and I feel a bit better I am really tempted to jump up and down a bit but he keeps me under such strict control that I don’t get to do it. I have jumped up and put my paws on the work surface in the kitchen a couple of times when I thought I could get some food, but he gives me a right telling off as he lifts my paws down again! Anyway, since I never, ever, get any food that way I am beginning to think that it isn’t worth the bother and getting into trouble for.

If I get a bit bored with the telly, I sometimes pop into the study to see what he is up to. Not much as far as I can see. Oh, he claims to be working but as far as I can see he just spends all day bashing at that keyboard or talking to that telephone thingy he likes to hold. I have absolutely no idea why he talks to that telephone thingy when he has me to talk to and I am far superior in intelligence and demeanour.  Mind you, I’ve always thought that he is a little bit odd. I may have mentioned this before but he isn’t all that bright you know … his mind is taking a short break, if you get my gist. Anyway, my loyal fans (welcome to my new fans from Brazil and Indonesia by the way!) will know that much of the summer has been spent with the builders knocking the house about. He has spent a small fortune on knocking walls down, (that was my friend Neil’s job), building new ones elsewhere (that was Kevin’s bit), a new kitchen (that was Simon) and decorating … oh no, hang on, that hasn’t been done yet! Anyway, one of the things he did was to spend a whole heap of money with a chap called Alex who laid a very nice new floor (https://monty.vip/2017/07/27/a-surprise-visit/). Well guess what he did last week – he only bought some dead cheap carpet and covered his very expensive new floor in it all through the hallway, dining room and kitchen. And, wait for it … he only says it is for my benefit! Blinkin’ cheek!! Although I must admit that the new floor is a bit slippy and if I slipped on it I could do some damage to my new hip so I suppose it is much better for me. What it does mean is that I can move around in the house a bit better. I am not allowed to use the stairs yet, but I can walk between the rooms which is nice.

I do find some of the things he gets up to quite boring! Take, for example, this cooking thing he does. I mean, it is soooo boring. He spends hours in the kitchen, chopping, stirring, heating, cooling, shaping, boiling … it goes on and on. And what does he have as an end result? Nothing that I can eat! What is the point in that? Frankly, I have found that the easiest thing to do is lie down and push out a few ????s.  Actually, I have to say that this forced relaxation thing is very tiring and I have to work quite hard at it! The good thing is that now that he has laid this carpet, I can choose my place to lay down with far more freedom. I quite like a snooze in the kitchen for a change! On Saturday I had a surprise visit from Grandma and my Auntie Jo. It was luvely! We went out for lunch to a pub called the ‘Fox and Hounds’ where the nice lady behind the bar gave me a biscuit. That part didn’t turn out to be quite so good for everyone else because I barked and barked until she gave me another biscuit. Every time she went behind the bar I was there … ready to bark and bark I did! I barked at the top of my voice until she gave me another biscuit! I’m not sure if I caught it right, but I’m fairly sure I heard Richard suggest that next time they go there she doesn’t give me any biscuits so that I don’t bark. Nah! Can’t be! I must have misheard. Nobody would deny me a little bark and a few biscuits, surely. Anyway, since I am not yet able to walk there, it won’t be happening that often I don’t think. Even though the menu was pretty good!

When Grandma and Auntie Jo arrived, Auntie Jo brought me a present. I’ve got a heffalump! It has fast become my favourite toy! Mind you, he says that I change my favourite toys like he does his socks, but I don’t know what he means! Anyway, after we had been to the pub we went to the garden centre and I got to have a good sniff around there before we went home. No sooner had we got home than he went out again and took Grandma and Auntie Jo to go and see Sue and Malcolm. I suppose that was nice … for them. Anyway, I stayed at home and spent a little bit of quality time with Richard. It turned out that they were planning on going out in the evening to a theatre in London. Apparently, it was called the Book of Mormons but I had no interest in that. It turned out that my friends Sue and Malcolm were going to spend some quality time with me in the evening, so that was good. Actually, it was rather nice spending time with Sue and Malcolm and they didn’t come back until very late in the evening so I got to spend a good amount of time with them. It turns out that all the trains were cancelled because of bad weather or something … I think it was just an excuse!

When they got home and started making excuses about why they were so late, Malcolm was watching football on the telly thing. I don’t really understand football … it seems that there are 22 blokes running around a field chasing a pigs bladder and all wearing shorts even if the weather isn’t that warm. It is all very strange. Anyway, Malcolm was enjoying it so I didn’t really mind and I got to spend the evening in one of my favourite seats (which happens to be Richard’s) and to sit with Malcolm. When they came home there seemed to be some expectation that I would give up my seat for Richard – I was having none of that! After all, I wasn’t the one who had gone out all evening! It turns out that the Book of Mormons was very rude, so I don’t think I would have liked it anyway and I much prefer to spend time at home with my friends. It was very late when we went to bed and I was very tired. We didn’t get up until very late on Sunday morning and, although they said they were going to have a quiet day, he spent about four hours cooking dinner that was for them to have with Bren and Cathy in the evening. Apparently, he didn’t think it was worth all the effort … I could have told him that before he started! I keep saying that this cooking lark is not all it’s cracked up to be! I think they had quite a good evening because there were a lot of empty glasses in the morning and, frankly, on Monday he was definitely a bit slow!

Something amazing happened today … the decorator turned up! It isn’t that he went AWOL exactly, he did tell him that he was going to go off for a week … it is just that he said he was going to go off for a week over two months ago! The good news is that this means that the decorating will finally get done, the bad news is that we are back to dust and dust sheets everywhere again! I am beginning to wonder if this job will ever get finished! Mind you, at least Neil hasn’t turned up again … that would really worry me! Tonight they are both going out to a meeting (he was out at a meeting last night too and he’s going to be out at another one tomorrow night!) and that means that someone is going to come and spend some quality time with me. You’ll never guess who’s coming tonight … only Jake and Zena!!! Oh my woof, I am going to get to spend some quality time with my two most favouritist people in woofdom! Actually, I was reading a very interesting article on Poochbook earlier that was posted by my friend and personal trainer, Amanda from Happy Buddies, about how we dogs can sometimes have favourite people who aren’t necessarily those we spend most time with. Well let’s face it, all I have is him! Hardly much contest really! Anyway, I must go and freshen up for my visitors this evening so, for now, must paws … ????