I know, it’s bin a while!

OK, now I know it has bin a bit of a while, but I have reasons … lots of reasons. So, let me start. First of all, just after new year in 2024 he had his eyes done. I mean, when I say he had his eyes done, what I mean is that first of all they operated on him to make his eyelids less droopy – I mean, without wishing to be rude (well, actually you can delete the words ‘without wishing’) … he was beginning to look a bit like a basset hound! Anyway, after they did that (apparently that hurt!) he went to the opticians because they said his field of vision had changed and they told him he had cataracts in both eyes! He told them that he thought that only happened to old people and, after giving him a rather withering look, they said it can occur to anyone … even babies. Anyway, that meant he couldn’t see too well for a few weeks which meant I didn’t have my usual access to his ‘pooter. In February it turned out that he is old. Who knew? Well, actually, I did and so did most people who know him. He was 60 … now I don’t like to be rude (no scrap that, yes I do!) if you put that in dog years, he was 420 years old! That’s old by anyone’s standards!! So ten of them including him went off for a week in Sitges … going by train from Redhill to St Pancras, St Pancras to Paris Gare du Nord, Paris Gare de Lyon to Barcelona and then Barcelona to Sitges. I didn’t go. I stayed at home with my new best friend David (who was from Australia, although he was born in Caterham!). That meant another period when I couldn’t write my Glog!

So, once they had been to Sitges I honestly thought that we’d be back to normal. Oh no! No such luck. As soon as they got back there was talk of something called a cruise. Now, I have looked up cruising, but I’m not sure I found the right results! Anyway, from what they said, it involved a large boat (called a ship apparently) and going on the sea. To be honest, he was dreading it. I mean, Daddy Richard wasn’t over keen, but he was properly dreading it. The idea of being trapped in a glorified tin bath tub with a load of poeple they didn’t know and didn’t want to know just didn’t appeal. The food (he has some rather unfortunate food intolerances), the sea sickness, the boredom, you name it, he was dreading it. It was all to do with Nana and Grandad’s 70th Wedding Anniversary. Anyway, despite their reservations, they agreed to go. Nana and Grandad were under no illusions that they, and particularly he, didn’t want to go, but he and Daddy Richard do love Nana and Grandad, so they said they would go. Even as they drove into Southampton Docks (no, I have no idea where that is either!) he was trying to think of an excuse as to why he couldn’t go a the very last minute! I won’t bore you with the details … particularly as it is not about me … but suffice to say, they had the most amazing trip, so much so that they booked another one whilst on board the ship! Whilst they were off enjoying themselves, I had another new best friend, Ksenia, come to stay. She was Russian! I had a lovely time with her though and didn’t really miss them too much. Mind you, when they got back they were full of how wonderful the cruise had been, how they couldn’t have been looked after better, how the food had been adapted to fit his intolerances (and believe me, he is a pretty intolerant person!) and how much they enjoyed the whole experience and how much they were looking forward to doing it all over again. I couldn’t get a bark in edgeways! Anyway, I suppose I’m glad they enjoyed it, even if they did go on … and on … and on … and on about it!

So, along came July and they went back into the house hunting mode again. They had been looking at houses for some time to be honest. Apparently, although they loved living in Godstone, the cost of the mortgage was crippling and they really wanted to be mortgage free. Now, I don’t understand these things but it appears that if you have a mortgage you have to pay lots of money to live in the house even though you don’t own it. And then Liz Truss comes along (didn’t a lettuce last longer than her?) and tripples the cost of the mortgage overnight and then blames everyone else for her incompetence and for crashing the economy. Now, I am no expert on these matters and I have done a bit of research on Doogle, but it appears that the general opinion is that she was the second worst Prime Minister of the century so far, only second to someone called Johnson who, according to the Interweb is largely known as ‘Johnson the Liar’. Anyway, enough of this. The point is, they were thinking about moving house. We went as far as Dorset (I don’t know where that is, but it is a very long way in the car) to Essex (which I also don’t know where is but the dogs round there seemed a bit rough!). In the end, we ended up looking at this house in a place called Stone Cross which is near a place called Pevensey which is near to a place called Eastbourne (yep, me neither but I guess someone knows where that is). They found this house and I went along with them to look at it. It seemed OK to me and they quite liked it, so they offered to buy it.

Anyway, in September last year they went off again, this time to Antibes in the South of France. Allegedly that was work too. Apparently, he speaks at a conference there and is also the Chair of the panel of judges for the Global Data Centre Awards (they must be desperate!!), whatever that all means. Anyway, good news, I met a new best friend called Terry who came from Los Angeles. He was really nice and I had a lovely time with him. Frankly, I hardly missed them at all. Terry and I went on some lovely walks and, it appears, he was pretty popular in the village. The thing about Terry was that he understood me. He knew just how much walking I like to do and where I liked to go. He knew that everyone who saw me had to stop and comment on the fact that I am the handsomest dog in Dogdom (as if I don’t know!). We saw loads of my friends, both human and doggy and I picked up loads of p-mail whilst we were out walking. Loads of people would stop him and talk to him. I think it was partly his American accent but also lots of people wanted to know what he thought about Trump (and I don’t mean bottom burps) and what might happen if he became President. (It turns out he did, although Terry and 270 million others never thought that would happen! It just goes to prove, if you have a vote, use it … even if it is just to spoil a paper!) Anyway, I had a really nice time with Terry and was really quite sad when he left. They returned home as if nothing had happened and just expected me to be pleased to see them. (I was, secretly, but I wasn’t going to let them know that!) I gave them the cold shoulder for a couple of days, although it was quite difficult to do!

Now, I am no expert in matters of house selling or purchasing but it all seemed to take a very long time indeed. They found a buyer for our house (his name is Josh and he already lived in the village) pretty quickly, but then it seemed to take about a million years before we actually moved. We did manage to have one last Christmas in the old house which I really looked forward to. It isn’t the food (although I do tend to do rather well out of the food) or even the company (although it was great with Nana, Grandad, Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy), but the boxes … oh the boxes! They are sooooo good!!! But although it was a great Christmas it was tinged with a bit of sadness. He definitely didn’t want to leave Godstone and I wasn’t too keen either but, in order to achieve the aim of being mortgage free (thanks to Liz Truss the mortgage went from £700 a month to £2,300 a month overnight, so it was really crippling) we needed to move. As soon as Christmas was over, we started planning for the move. We didn’t exactly know when we were going to move but we knew it wouldn’t be too long. To be fair, Daddy Richard had been preparing for the move for months and months but, as you might imagine, he had done nothing!

He claimed it was the work that stopped him from doing much towards the move. I am no expert on matters of working – I am, after all, a kept dog! But I can’t see what was so difficult. He sat there in his study, sometimes for as long as 16 hours a day, staring at computer screens and plans and reports and spreadsheets. I mean, what is so hard about that! Apparently, since my last Glog he has worked in Thailand (3 times), South Korea (2 times), Vietnam, the Philippines, Egypt, Ethiopia, Djibouti, Tanzania, Kenya, Ghana and Indonesia. Hardly a trip around the world is it!!! Anyway, as usual, Daddy Richard picked up the slack and got us ready for moving. We booked some packers to come in and pack for the actual move. They decided that it might be a bit stressful for me to be at home whilst the house was packed up, so I went to stay with Nana and Grandad for a couple of nights. I had a lovely time there – Grandad made a fuss of me, Nana gave me some treats and I spent quite a bit of time just getting some R&R. We eventually moved on the 11th February (Auntie Zena’s birthday) and, although I wasn’t there for the actual move, they came and picked me up from Nana and Grandad’s and we went home to our new house. As soon as I walked in, I knew it was home. The smells, the things. Everything said this was now home. It turned out we were a bit lucky too with our move.

We lived in our old house (well they did) for 24 years, I lived there for almost 8 years. Over the years, the number of HGV lorries using the A25 (the High Street in Godstone) rocketed. It used to be the occasional HGV when they first lived there. By the time they left, just for the landfill sites in Nutfield, there were operators licences allowing one HGV movement through the village every 1 minute and 4 seconds. This combined with all the other traffic made the High Street unbelievably busy and the rumbling of HGVs through the village became a feature of village life. Often, as they passed through, the whole house would vibrate. Our house was built on piles, so we were never at any risk, but the Victorian cast iron water main was! Although the cause has not yet been announced, anyone local knows what happened. Eventually, the cast iron water main ruptured through vibration and washed all the sand away underneath the road which caused it to collapse. Godstone is built on a network of sand caves (which any local could have told the authorities from day one but it took them four months to work that out!) and, once the water washed the sand away, there was nothing left to support the road. We moved out six days (yes, just 6 days) before this all happened! Now that is what I call lucky!!!!

And so, we finally moved into our new house. Once again he did nothing towards the unpacking. As always, he played the ‘I’m working’ card and sat in front of a computer all day. OK, so he did have the occasional 4 o’clock in the morning ‘conference call’ (just an excuse to sit and talk to other people in front of computers as far as I can see) but basically he left he unpacking to Daddy Richard. It took a few weeks, but eventually the house was straight again and we began to settle into our new life. He still claims to be ‘working’ although for now he doesn’t have a proper study so he is using the third bedroom to work in. The carpet in there is very thick so I get a bit warm and can’t spend too much time in there supervising. Daddy Richard has sorted most things out in the house and there are no longer any boxes lying around downstairs. There are a few in the loft and a few above the car port, but we are basically clear of boxes. I have to admit, I quite like our new life here. There are some fabulous walks and I’ve made a few new friends. Not like in Godstone with Barney and Albie and Cody and the many other friends I had, but I am beginning to make the odd one or two.

Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy have been down a few times which is nice. I like it when they’re here. They have found a particularly good Chinese restaurant which they go to sometimes but I stay at home because I’m not really into Chinese food. Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon have been down too … and they brought Albie down so we had a really good time! Nana and Grandad have been down quite a few times too, so it isn’t as if we have lost all our friends from Godstone, just that we don’t see them quite as much as we used to. One other nice thing about living here is that most evenings, unless it is really wet and windy, we go to the promenade in Eastbourne and I have a stroll along there. I really enjoy that, watching the sea, taking in the smells (although palm trees in blossom smell disgusting … like lilies on steroids!) and meeting the odd new friend. I do miss Bay Pond Path but every few weeks I get to go and see my friend Denise who gives me a bath and I usually get a trip up Bay Pond Path either before or after my bath, so it is all worth it.

For Christmas, Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy gave him a book of walks in East Sussex. Today, for the first time, we decided to go on one. We went to Friston Forest and then walked the White Horse trail. Now, there are a couple of things to say about this. Firstly, if I had known how steep the walk was, I would have taken crampons! Secondly, if I had known how far it was, I would have taken it more slowly and, thirdly, I’m not even that keen on horses! However, it was a lovely walk and I thoroughly enjoyed it. True, I am completely cream crackered (mind you, not as cream crackered as Daddy Richard who has taken to his bed for a ‘snooze’ … some snooze, he’s been gone two and a half hours!) but it was worth it. The views were spectacular and we met loads and loads of other dogs who were on their way to see the view. I didn’t tell them how steep it was going to get or how far it was, but they’ll know by now!! I do like going to new places and it was great to go somewhere I hadn’t been before. He has bought me a new ramp to make it easier for me to get in and out of the car. I don’t like jumping out of the car because it is too high off the ground. When we got to the car park in Friston Forest, Daddy Richard got the ramp all prepared so that I could walk out of the car but I was just too excited and I jumped straight out without waiting for the ramp for the first time in years!!! I’m not sure that he was all that impressed because he was muttering something like “ninety quid and he decides he can jump out of the car!”. Anyway, I’m sure he meant well and I might try the ramp at some point in the future. Actually, I can jump in and out of cars anyway (I’ll explain in a minute) but don’t tell them! Daddy Richard usually lifts me in and out of the car (he can’t because he has two slipped discs in his neck which he blames me for … obviously!) and I rather like having my own personal assistant to lift me in and out.

So, life isn’t so bad after all. We are still managing to see our old friends and we keep in touch (well they do) by the telephonic device that startles me every time it rings! I like where we now live and I am getting used to the area. There are many more walks here where I can walk off lead which, frankly, I enjoy more and so do they. On the sea front in the evenings I can’t go off lead, but I’m not sure I really want to. I like being with them so that I can point out interesting things and, when I drop a two bagger (as is more often the case on the sea front) they are right there to pick it up. Fortunately (for them) there are lots of bins along the promenade, so they don’t have to carry it too far. I know that some of my productions can be a little aromatic at times! Today, it has warmed up here. For the last couple of days the rest of the country has been having a heat wave, but we’ve had overcast skies and average temperatures. This morning was much the same, but this afternoon the sun has come out and it is now 26℃ which is quite warm. I have spent most of the afternoon outside with him in the garden whilst dictating my Glog (why have a human and bark yourself!) but it has got a bit warm, so I am popping inside to lie on the cool floor.

Talking of walking, I should just mention my new best friend, Jordan. Because he claims to be working and Daddy Richard goes to visit a bookkeeping client on a Friday, Daddy Richard arranged for Jordan to come and take me for a walk one Friday. I loved it so much that I now go out with Jordan every Friday for a good hour’s walk. Jordan is a lot younger than them (well about 100 years younger), so he has more energy and I have a wonderful time! When Jordan arrives, I play the harness game (well you have to don’t you) but once it is on I make sure the front door is shut and then I hop into Jordan’s car ready for my next adventure with him. Usually, when we arrive home, I am so cream crackered that I more crawl out of the car than hop, but I do so unaided. Don’t let them know because they might realise that I am perfectly capable after all! I’ve had some wonderful trips with Jordan and discovered some really great new places. Sometimes I get to run around with other dogs too which is really fun. So, the long and the short of it, is that I’m having a great time. I wasn’t so sure about moving but I love my new home. Next Wednesday we are going back to Godstone. I am going to have a bath and then we are going to the Godstone Gardeners’ Club Garden Party which I’m looking forward to. I’ll see loads of my old friends and I suspect they might make quite a fuss of me! I know it has been a long time since my last Glog and I will do my best not to take so long before the next one. He will claim that he’s been too busy but that’s a terrible excuse and I don’t think I can accept it. I will have a good old bark at him and see if I can’t chivvy him along a bit. In the mean time though, my paws are tired and I need to push out a few 💤s, so for now, and until next time … must paws 🐾