On the mend …

Yesterday I went to visit my personal surgeon, Bonito de la Puerta, for a bit of a review after my operation. I didn’t much care for the way that he picked me up and shoved me in the car thingy, but when we got to my private hospital, things did take a turn for the up. The first thing that Bonito did was to take off that flamin’ lampshade that I’ve had on for the last fortnight! (Why he couldn’t have done that is beyond me!) Then he had a good feel around my new hip and said he was very pleased with the progress and that he would like to take my stitches out. Now, I don’t like to be difficult, but that didn’t sound good – generally speaking, when things are taken away from me things don’t end well for me. I decided that this was a perfect opportunity to demonstrate that I am now able to lay on my new hip without pain. I lay down and, when Bonito tried to come towards me with his special scissors (I didn’t actually have stitches, I had staples!) I decided it was a great opportunity to lay on my back for my tummy to be rubbed. Bonito thought it was very funny and Alex ended up having to bribe me to stand up again! Once the stitches were out, Bonito said that I don’t need my sling anymore either, so all in all it was a pretty good visit! We made another appointment for 4 weeks time and I was lifted back into the car to go home.

Unfortunately, I remain room restricted and, when I go into the garden for a poo, I still have to be on a lead. Actually, talking of poo, I must say that they seem to obsess about poo at the moment. After my operation I was a little bit bunged up if you get what I mean. Alex spoke to Bonito who recommended a laxative for humans called Lactulose which Richard went and got. They gave it to me a couple of times a day and normal service was resumed in about 36 hours. Ever since then they have obsessed with it – every time we go outside, they come back in and report on my movements! Anyway, room restriction is very boring and I want to go out, but I can’t go out for another 4 weeks at least! I also still can’t go upstairs, so he is still having to sleep on the sofa. I think he is getting used to it, but he does grumble about aching in the morning and he really doesn’t appreciate when I take him a present at 4 o’clock in the morning and stick it in his face. Mind you, there is no pleasing him sometimes! As a general point, I have found that sleeping in my crate is more comfortable on my new hip because it has a bed in it which is soft, but whatever you do, don’t tell him, he’ll think I actually like the crate!

Actually, talking of him, I think I may have mentioned in passing that he isn’t all that bright … forgot to pay the brain bill, if you get my gist. Well, he seems to have completely forgotten that I don’t like him talking on the phone! I mean, I’ve had a new hip, not a complete brain transplant (although that does give me an idea for him!) – I have never appreciated him giving other people attention on the telephone and not me. Yesterday afternoon he had one of his dreaded ‘conference calls’ – I have looked these up on Doogle and apparently, according to Fidopedia, “A conference call is a telephone call in which someone talks to several people at the same time.” Why more than one person would want to talk to him is beyond me! Anyway, I managed to bark all the way through it – a full hour and ten minutes! He wasn’t very happy, I don’t think. Actually, I know he wasn’t very happy because when he was on the phone a bit later with Bren and I started barking at him, he shouted at me to shut up which is very unusual for him and not very nice! I decided to sit quietly for a while and let the dust settle – and there is enough dust in this house to settle, I can assure you!

Talking of dust, I guess that at least some people might be interested in progress in the new kitchen. Well, obviously there are still bits to do, but generally it is finished. The utility room still needs some work, the underfloor heating hasn’t been finished, the decorating still needs doing everywhere except the kitchen, but it is getting there! That said, I haven’t really been in there. You see the problem is that they have had this really nice and expensive new floor put down that is wipe clean and really easy to maintain – it was largely chosen because I can sometimes come in a little mucky after a walk if the weather hasn’t been good. The issue is that it is quite slippery and, because of my new hip, I am not allowed on slippery floors! It has all rather backfired on them. Still, I’m sure it’ll be fine when I’m fully recovered. I must say that in the last few days, I have been feeling quite a lot better. This has had upsides and downsides for both them and myself. The upside is that, feeling better, I am calmer and I am relatively happy with my own company. This means that he can leave the room for a few minutes without me going barking mad, which he seems to quite like. The downside is that I can now bark for England again and, since I am not allowed out, I am finding plenty of time to practice! Anyway, enough of my ramblings, I am thinking of spending the afternoon catching up on what is happening on Poochbook. He still doesn’t know I have an account and I’m not going to tell him! So, for now, must paws … ????