New games …

I have mentioned before my new game of going absolutely nowhere when we are out on a walk. I must say that yesterday I surpassed even my own standards! Alex was getting a bit bored of my stopping and standing and had stopped giving me treats to try and get me to move so I came up with a ‘Plan B’ – I lay down and refused to move! This caused a huge amount of amusement for a man that was waiting at the bus stop. He seemed to think it was hilarious watching me lie down in the street! I kept this up for about 15 minutes before I realised that there were no treats forthcoming and I myself was getting a bit bored. I think that Alex has cottoned on to my cunning plan to get treats.

Actually, talking of treats, they were not terribly forthcoming at all on one of my morning walks yesterday. I was walking nicely on a loose lead and it was a lovely morning, so we decided to walk up Green Lane and return via Oxted Road. As we were walking up Green Lane there was a tractor ploughing the fields that belong to Flower Farm. Just prior to ploughing the farmer had spread some ‘muck’ on the field to plough in. ‘Muck’ turns out to be manure and it smells jolly nice too (at least, I think so even if Alex doesn’t). Some bits of muck had flicked over the hedge and into Green Lane so I was having great fun sniffing it and trying to eat it. Alex was doing that thing of ignoring me if I do something that he thinks is naughty so I came up with a great way to get his attention – I lay down and rolled in the manure. I was covered in it! That certainly got his attention, but not a treat was in sight!

We walked down Church Lane towards Oxted Road and I tried my hardest to get at a small pile of muck that had clearly dropped off the tractor when it entered the field. Alex wouldn’t let me though – he didn’t seem overly pleased with me that I was covered in muck and that I had given up on the loose lead walking and returned to my game of pulling. Oh well, I can’t please him all the time! We walked home (I didn’t try the stopping game – I didn’t want to push my luck!) and when we got in Alex brushed me all over and got rid of the manure. I quite like the look and smell but he didn’t. We were going round to see Bren afterwards and he seemed to think that Bren wouldn’t appreciate the manure in his house, I don’t know why.

After we had cleaned up, we went around to see Bren (Cathy wasn’t there) and Alex was trying to help Bren with a computer problem that he had (not very well if you ask me!). I thought it would be a good game to try and rip the tassels  off the rugs in the lounge but neither Bren nor Alex agreed. Then I tried to rip them off the blankets they have on their settee – again my efforts were not appreciated. After a while of looking around for other new games (pinch the coaster, eat the flowers, etc.) Alex said he would have to abort our visit until Cathy was home and could keep me entertained so we went home. I can’t say I was desperately pleased with this, so I decided to play up for the rest of the day by lying down on walks, trying to rip things up in my house, misbehaving, jumping up and generally causing mayhem. Alex didn’t go back to see Bren until Richard came home – he said he didn’t want to take the risk. Even when Richard was home and was going to take me out for a walk, I had a good go at playing up but eventually Richard took me out and we were alright again.

This morning started particularly well. I was standing just in front of Alex as he drank his cup of morning tea and I managed a bottom burp that would best be described as of legendary proportions! He said as he left the room holding his nose that it was off the ‘Gifi Scale’, so it must have been good! Actually, it was a bit smelly – even for me – so I went outside to see what new games I could invent. It took me only a matter of minutes to think of one! My newest game (which has not gone down all that well) was to find a plant in a pot and pull it out. Then I carried it indoors and stood in the hallway before I shook it with all my might! It was great fun and, since Alex was talking to Bren (who is having an operation today so we are all thinking of him), he didn’t notice until I had got most of the soil off the roots!

When Alex had finally cleared up the mess left by the soil from the plant, he said we should go for a walk to burn off my excess energy. Never one to knowingly turn down a walk, I was quite excited too. We walked down to the White Hart Barn where we bumped into Angela (she’s nice) who made a fuss of me. We met another dog and his owner too – we had a little sniff of each other and then I lurched at him which didn’t go down well, so Alex made me sit down whilst he finished chatting to Angela. Then we walked up Bay Pond walk to Church Lane and back down Green Lane, through Dewlands, Salisbury Road and home again. It is about 2 miles and is one of my favourite walks so I didn’t do the stopping game.

Actually, it was such a nice day that I walked almost entirely on a loose lead. If I did try to pull (which I did occasionally) Alex just stopped until I returned to his side. He didn’t even use many treats today which is good (for him) and bad (for me). He did make a fuss of me when I was good though which was really nice! We met Mel and Cameron on our way home, they live round the corner in Salisbury Road – Mel is married to Phil and Cameron is their son – they were very nice although Cameron seemed a bit scared of me, but I was nice to him all the time! When we got home I was a little tired so I decided to push out a few ?s for a while. Alex said he had ‘work’ to do, so that suited me just fine. I lay down by his feet in the study and even snored a bit.

This afternoon Alex said he had to go and collect my passport. I have no idea what a passport is, but apparently it’s important. Imagine my excitement when Zena rang the door bell! I couldn’t believe my luck. I lay straight on my back and asked for my tummy to be rubbed. I was just so excited that I even showed Zena (who didn’t really want to see apparently) that although I might be a couple of bits short in the trouser department (if you get my gist) there are other bits of me that remain in working order! Apparently, it could take up to 3 months for me to stop that particular form of excitement (Alex says “roll on that day!”). After we had all calmed down a bit, Zena took me for a walk around the block whilst Alex went and collected my passport and then went to the pet shop to buy me some more food. I like it when he goes there because I usually get a treat when he gets back! Anyway, enough of this writing lark, the weather is beautiful outside and Richard will be home soon. Anyone sitting inside when there is a whole garden to destroy would be absolutely barking! Must paws … ?