Just because …

It has been a little while since I last wrote something. I have been quite a busy dog in the mean time and haven’t had much time for writing. Yesterday started exceedingly well. It turns out that Thursday is bin collection day. This is particularly good for someone like me. When the bins are collected little remnants are left behind which just gives me an opportunity to sniff everything and to try and eat most things. When we got into Court Road and Dewlands I discovered that the bins hadn’t been collected … even more opportunity for sniffing and testing Alex’s ability to stop me from eating! He did rather too well for my liking, although I did manage to slip a piece of orange peel past him which caused him to panic and go straight home and Google it. It’s OK, it won’t do me any harm in small quantities but I think he’ll be watching even more closely in future which is a shame!

We didn’t walk that far yesterday morning, which was a bit odd, but it turned out that Alex had plans!  When we got back we popped round to Great Uncle Bulgaria’s greenhouse and gave it a water and then opened it up – it was 32 degrees in there and very hot! Alex seemed a bit worried that it was so hot, but once the doors were open and everything had had a drink he seemed less concerned. We returned home and Alex did some work whilst I had a little snooze. All this excitement can be very tiring, you know. It was such a lovely day, I was really hoping we would be going out again but I definitely needed to push out a few Zs before we did.

At lunchtime, Alex had some cheese on a crispbread because that was all that was available. The cheese was called Comté and it had a bit of a rind which Alex didn’t want to eat. It turns out that I rather like it, so that was a bonus! After his lunch (he didn’t seem all that pleased with it, but I rather enjoyed the cheese, so all was good for me!) we went out into the garden so that Alex could plant some raspberry plants that he bought last year. They didn’t look all that healthy, but he seemed to think it was worth a try!  I helped him by chewing some plant pots and then attempting to chew the plant supports, but he didn’t seem to think that was all that helpful. I don’t think I always understand humans!

After the gardening, I discovered Alex’s plans. On went my harness and my lead and we went out of the front door. To my utter disgust, he then opened the car boot and I was bundled in without even a chance to object! We drove off and, as usual, I was wondering where we were going. Bound to be another blinking vets! It turns out that we weren’t going to a vet – we went to Limpsfield Common for a walk (I’m a dog, I didn’t know it was called Limpsfield Common, but Alex says it is). Limpsfield Common is a great place! There are woods to explore and open spaces too. I pulled Alex through the woods at quite a pace! He grumbled at me a bit because I was going so fast and he kept having to duck tree branches or get over fallen trees and apparently he needed to see where he was going!

Actually, it was all very exciting and we walked loads. Alex says he is looking forward to when I have learned not to pull on the lead so hard, but I think life is just too exciting to walk slower! We went all over the woods and I sniffed at everything! We met a couple of rather dubious old men in the woods but we didn’t really stop to talk to them. We walked through the woods and found a small lane which I thought we should explore, so we walked all the way down to the bottom of a very steep hill. At the bottom were two enormous houses with huge gardens overlooking the valley. I’ll bet some very posh people live there! We had to turn around though and walk all the way back up the steep hill – I didn’t hear Alex moaning at me pulling on the lead on the way back up the hill!

We walked back through the woods and arrived where we had parked the car. I was not impressed by the sight of the car and I made sure that Alex knew so! We didn’t go back to the car, we turned off into one of the more open areas (although I did try to pull Alex back into the wooded area but he wanted to explore the common which was fine) and went for another walk. There has been a lot of woodland clearing in the common which gave me lots of new things to sniff. We walked around for another 20 minutes before finally we returned to the parking area. I was OK when I saw the cars, but I knew that meant another trip in the car and I was not happy.

I had to come up with a strategy to avoid getting into the car. The car almost always means vets and, frankly, I don’t like vets! About 30 feet away from the car I cracked it! I planted myself firmly on the ground and refused to move another inch. Now, I am not a fat chap, but I still weigh 27 kilos, so picking me up and carrying me 30 feet was going to be tall order and I didn’t think Alex would relish that! It isn’t that I want to be naughty, it is just that I don’t like cars because cars mean vets! We settled into quite an impass for a while. I refused to move (even when tempted with treats, so I was really strong!) and Alex continued to try and get me to get into the car. I did, at one point, move a few inches forwards just to try and get the treat in his hand, but I only fell for that one once! Eventually, after about half an hour, Alex clearly decided he had had enough – he picked me up, carried me back to the car and put me in. This is not very dignified for a dog of my stature, so we are going to have to overcome this problem soon!

Once I was in the car I forgot about my fear and we made our way home. We didn’t go anywhere near a vets, so maybe things aren’t that bad after all. When we got home I had forgiven Alex and I curled up by his feet while he attempted to do more work. When Richard came home there was lots more activity. Alex gave me my dinner (I do like a bit of Iams!) and Richard was busy doing all sorts of things. After a while, Richard put my harness and lead on and we all went out of the door. Imagine my disgust when I was bundled back into the car again! But we didn’t go to the vets, we went to visit Richard’s Mum and Dad. Peggy and John made a real fuss of me and I had a lovely time! Maybe this car thing isn’t so bad after all – although I did do my ‘planting strategy’ when we left and Richard had to carry me to the car!

This morning I got up quite early and Richard got up with me. He was busy doing ironing and things, so I helped by picking up shoes randomly and dropping them all over the house – I like to do my bit! Alex got up just before 7am and, just to let him know I was there, I did a little ‘doggy trump’. I don’t know where it would appear on the ‘Gifi Scale’,  but even I had to leave the room! I had an email from Lesley this morning too (which was nice – we haven’t met yet, but I have seen her through the window at Morrisons) asking me to add her Mum Judy to my mailing list. Of course, I am delighted, so welcome Judy! A handsome chap like me does like to have a few fans!

Now, I have already mentioned the fact that I do not like getting into cars and I really don’t want to bark on about it but … no sooner was I back and comfortably pushing a few Zs out and what do you think that rotten Alex did? Yep, you guessed it, he went and hijacked me and put me back in the stupid car! I was not a happy doggy I can tell you! In fact, as we left the house once again, my thoughts returning to vets and all things horrible, he kept a very cheery voice on as if this was going to be a fun trip out. He really doesn’t understand – I DON’T LIKE VETS! Anyway, fortunately our journey wasn’t too long and when we arrived, he took a flamin’ photo of me … what a blinkin’ cheek are all I had been through! I mean, I like to have my photo taken when I’m at my best, not after one of his nasty acts!

Ok, I must admit this – he doesn’t make it too bad. I have my own special blanket, he does put in a bowl of treats and a bowl of water, but it is still a car and, generally, cars mean vets! On this occasion it wasn’t though. He is definitely trying to lure me into a false sense of security because I am convinced that cars do mean vets. Anyway, I actually got a rather lovely surprise – I met Lesley. We had seen each other from afar, but now I was able to say hello properly! So much better. And she’s ever-so nice, she had a perfume that somewhat resembled cat – I think it was called ‘Eau de Maddie’ – it was very nice! It was actually better than that though, I didn’t just meet Lesley, I met Baz and Ollie and Oli and Duncan. Richard was there too, of course, so it was all soooo exciting!

Ollie, Oli and Baz took me for a walk whilst Alex went off to do some shopping which was very exciting – we walked up around an old farm. I have no idea what shopping is, but I quite like it because it generally results in me getting another treat or something. Anyway, after my walk we got back and I had a great time going through everyone’s bins and tearing up and eating tissues! It was good fun, but eventually they put the bins where I couldn’t reach them, so that game was kind of over. Actually, I was quite tired, so I slipped under Duncan’s desk to push out a few Zs before Alex got back. I didn’t think he noticed, but it turns out he did. Apparently he “posted” a photo of me on his “Facebook” page. I don’t really understand what that means, but Alex says it’s a bit like me writing my doggy diaries but there are more pictures and less words. Alex calls it ‘Face ache’ but I’m pretty sure that Duncan is right – I can tell by the tone of his voice that Alex is being rude about it.

Blimey! Tomorrow I’ll have been in my forever home for a whole week – that’s a very long time in doggy time. Time has flown by and I’ve had such a lot of very exciting adventures and mets loads and loads of people! I’ve got to meet Great Uncle Bulgaria yet, but he won’t be back until Sunday which is ages away! Alex is now promising to take me for a walk on The Green – he had better not by lying and trying to bung me in the car again because, if he is, I shall put my paw down and refuse to let him. So, for now, must paws …