Every day’s a school day!

Unfortunately! Honestly, I wouldn’t mind but I’m a flamin’ world expert at this laying down thing. Monty … sit, so I sit. Monty … down, so I lay down. Monty … sit, so I sit up again. Monty … come, so I come. And so it flamin’ goes on. The only good thing is that I get a treat each time. Apparently, it’s all about stopping me from pulling but I don’t see how that’s going to work. It’ll take more than just a few treats to stop me!!!! We haven’t been going out for proper walks recently either. Instead we get in the car thingy and usually end up in a car park of some quiet country lane. We get out and then he (it’s usually him for some reason) starts walking in one direction and then as soon as I get up steam and start pulling we change direction and I have to start all over again. He seems to have adopted a new word too … “uh ah”! The second I start pulling or loosing concentration (it’s very difficult to keep concentration up when a flamin’ squirrel has just run across the road or when I notice that somebody has missed the rubbish bin and there’s a sandwich on the ground) I hear him muttering “uh ah” and the next thing he’s stopping me from doing whatever it is I am doing! I must say I’m getting a bit bored with all this learning.

I think I may have mentioned in the past that a lot of human things are based on the far more superior doggy ones. Things like Whatsyap (which got copied to a far inferior app for humans) and Fidopedia (I’ve heard that the human version is not always that reliable … no surprise there!) and, of course, texting. The real joke is that humans think they invented text abbreviations. Honestly, ROTF (rolling on the floor) and PAW (parents are watching) and LMAO (laughing my .. oooh that’s rude!) are they the best humans can come up with? Doggy text abbreviations are far more sophisticated – my personal favourite, and one I’ve been using quite a bit in recent days, is TTTP. Mind you, I think I may have also mentioned in the past that he isn’t very bright … proof that evolution can work in reverse, if you get my gist. He doesn’t even understand TTTP! Actually, talking of far superior systems that have been dumbed down in the human world, I was just browsing PooTube the other day and I found a whole catalogue of stupid things that humans have done! Honestly, I was LMPO (laughing my paws off!), humans really do do some stupid things!

So that’s life at the moment. Monty … sit! Monty … down! Monty … come! I haven’t been out for a proper walk for ages. I’m not allowed to go for my normal walks until I have learned not to pull. Therein lies a problem … I am not sure I am going to learn not to pull which means I may never get to go for a proper walk again. Hmm, I’ve just had a thought … if I did manage to learn not to pull then I’d get to go for a proper walk. Maybe this whole pulling thing needs a bit more thought. I think the situation is somewhat more complex than I originally thought! I have been to some interesting places though. Oxted Leisure Centre car park is particularly good! There’s loads of things going on there but I really have to concentrate on the whole walking thing. I don’t think I’m going to be able to write much more today. Honestly, one little bottom burp and he is going bonkers! OK, it was actually quite a large bottom burp and it has left a rather thick aroma in the air but honestly, what a fuss! So, for now, I’m afraid, must paws … ?