Belated Happy Christmas

A belated Happy Christmas to all my fans. I still have many fans around the world, so here we go … Happy Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeaux Noel, Fijne Kerstdagen, Feliz Natal, Frohe Weihnachten, Gleedelig Jal, Nadolig Llawen, क्रिसमस की शुभकामना and, of course, สุขสันต์วันคริสมาส. Now I have to admit that I still haven’t mastered Thai and my Hindi is a bit weak but I’m working on it! I’m sorry I didn’t write my Glog on actual Christmas Day but, to be honest, there was so much going on that I didn’t have time to put paw to keyboard! I got load of presents which was nice, although him and Daddy Richard seemed to think there was something hilarious about me wanting to take my own presents and open them! Most of my presents were edible which was particularly pleasing. I did take some of my treats over to Nana and Grandad (he‘s always telling me I should share!) but fortunately they weren’t really interested in them so I got to eat them all to myself. It was a bit of a quieter Christmas than usual because we didn’t have quite the houseful we usually do and there was just him, Daddy Richard, Nana and Grandad.

Aunty Cathy and Uncle Bren did come in on Boxing day for a bit of bubble and squeak (whatever on earth that is!) and some cold turkey and pickles. I’ve tried looking up this cold turkey thing on Fidopedia but it seems to have a completely different meaning. To be honest Fidopedia is getting a bit boring … every time I look anything up on it at this time of year I get bombarded with requests for money and reminders that it is a free service and not run for profit. I happen to know that he has met James Wales who founded the human version of Fidopedia, called Wikipedia, and the service may be free of charge but he has made a huge amount of money off the back of it! Anyway, enough about that, what about me? Ah yes! One of my presents was a ‘Ruff and Tumble’ coat. It is basically a towel that fits together with velcro and makes me all dry and clean after I come in from a walk where I get very dirty and wet. I don’t actually mind it because it is warm and toasty but don’t tell him! I don’t know why it is called a ‘Ruff and Tumble’ but I couldn’t be bothered to look it up and I don’t really care that much anyway. If it works, it works!

On the lead up to Christmas, those of my regular fans will expect nothing else but, he was doing lots of that cooking thing he does. I haven’t actually looked up the definition of ‘cooking’ but it seems to me that you take some perfectly acceptable raw ingredients, add some stuff to them, heat them up a bit, give it all a mix and then serve and pretend that the end product tastes somehow better than the raw ingredients did. Woof! Yeah right! Take, for example, some nice raw chicken. It tastes perfectly good and then he goes and ‘cooks’ it and I can’t even eat it anymore! Cooking? You humans can keep it!! It did, however, give me an opportunity to spend some quality time with Daddy Richard. Mind you, when I say quality time, I’m not sure that Daddy Richard was quite as comfortable as I was! I think I’ve put on a couple of kilos over Christmas, but then doesn’t everyone?! I don’t think that Daddy Richard is any stranger to the sweet trolley if you get my meaning!!

Him faffing around getting ready for Christmas did give me an opportunity to catch up with what was on TV. Did you know there is an actual TV channel dedicated to dogs? It is called DogTV and there are loads of programmes specifically aimed at intelligent dogs like me. There is ‘The Dog Chef’ (clearly not related to they type of cooking he does!), and ‘Paws for Love’ (it’s a bit like the human channel 4 programme called First Dates but there is a lot more sniffing involved) and ‘Things we Woof about’ (a bit like a topical news programme but with more woofing!) and ‘The Adoption Show’ (I don’t think I need to explain that one!) and, of course, ‘Meet the Breed’ (a bit like a human meet the celebrity type of show but far more interesting!). Anyway, when I came and asked him to change channels for me (I find these remote controls a bit fiddly sometimes) he didn’t seem best pleased that I had brought the remote to him. Mind you, there’s no pleasing him sometimes, so I didn’t let it bother me!

Talking of not being best pleased, I wasn’t exactly delighted when he was making some mincemeat parcels the other week. They’re a bit like mince pies but made out of filo pastry into little bags for the mincemeat. Daddy Richard prefers them to mince pies, so he always makes them for him. Honestly, some of the things he comes out with really do beggar belief! He told me that the mincemeat contains dried fruit and raisins and that if I ate them it would make me very poorly indeed and could even kill me. Really? Honestly, does he really expect me to believe that? The clue is in the name … mincemeat! Meat is like chicken or beef or lamb or something and it is all minced up ready to eat. Delicious! It’t not called mincefruit is it? Does he really think I’ll fall for that one?! Honestly, sometimes he really does try to take me for a fool! Did I get any though? Not a one! Sometimes he really is such a disappointment! I suppose I can’t complain too much, in the last few days I have benefited from quite a bit of turkey. Daddy Richard likes the turkey to be crowned with the legs taken off, deboned and stuffed and there is always a fair amount of bits that I can get my paws on. He always moans about doing it but he does it every Christmas!

So, you see, it has been a bit of a busy time over the last few weeks. In fact, so busy that I have found the need to push out a few 💤s at almost any opportunity. I have noticed that Daddy Richard has found it particularly tiring too as he has frequently taken to his bed to inspect the inside of his eyelids. They must be very complicated because it seems to take him quite a long time! I look up at the sofa the other day and actually found him to have nodded off. He didn’t admit it, but I knew he was flamin’ tired! Yesterday we had Daddy Richard’s Great Niece here because her Mum, Daddy Richard’s Niece, was 21 years old and they had promised to do a little party for them. So there was Nana, Grandad, Daddy Richard, his niece and her daughter all here running around. He did a buffet lunch for them all and a cake and it was after they had gone that I caught him pushing out 💤s on the sofa. Daddy Richard has already taken to his bed to inspect the inside of his eyelids and I just looked up and saw him! Anyway, all this talk of pushing out 💤s has had a double effect on me. Firstly, it has made me relax and I have just produced a bottom burp that anyone would be proud of. Secondly, it has just occurred to me that sleeping until the aroma has dissipated seems like a good idea. So I think that’s exactly what I am going to do. I’ll try not to leave it too long next time but, for now, must paws … 🐾