Feliz Año Nuevo …

Ok, so I admit, this is not my promised Christmas Glog but, to be honest, there has been so much going on and I’ve been so excited that putting paw to keyboard just didn’t cut the mustard, if you get what I mean. So, today is New Year’s Day. Happy New Year to all my followers, Feliz Año Nuevo to my Spanish followers, Bonne Année to my French followers, Gelukkig Nieuwjaar to my Dutch followers, Feliz Ano Novo to my Portugues followers and, since I seem to have lost my Thai followers but have picked up a Hindi follower नए साल की शुभकामनाएँ or nae saal kee shubhakaamanaen. So, that’s 2023 out of the way, what will 2024 hold? Well, let me start by saying that it had better hold more treats! I don’t think I had enough in 2023. I did have some lovely Christmas presents though! Auntie Jo gave me some really nice treats, Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy gave me some pigs ears and a Christmas Dinner Stocking, they gave me a whole load of treats and Denise, my personal groomer, gave me a fantastic toy which is actually a moose but I think it is a platypus, so that’s what I call it! Christmas wasn’t bad at all really, I did pretty well for presents, which I unwrapped myself, and not bad for treats either!

Of course, not everything was perfect, what on earth were they thinking of putting those stupid antlers on me. And worse, who’s idea was it to take a flamin’ photograph! I mean, I know I am the handsomest dog in dogdom, but really? Those antlers? How ridiculous!! That was actually before Christmas too. It was when we had our annual get together with Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon. They brought my friend Albie with them too. He’s a bit scatty and he doesn’t half run around a lot, but he’s only a puppy and he’s actually quite nice. We get along just fine after the first 10 minutes of complete bedlam! I don’t have a photo of Albie yet, but I’ll get one soon. I just need him to get off his backside and take one! Actually, talking of him, he did a lot of the cooking over Christmas. I think I may have mentioned it before but he takes some completely edible raw food and then ruins it by his ‘cooking’ of it. I will give you an example. Every year he gets a turkey and takes it’s legs off and makes it into a ‘crown’. Then he takes the bones out of the legs, removes the sinew, and then stuffs them with some stuffing he has made out of perfectly good raw pork mince, sage, onion, breadcrumbs and cranberries, then he rolls them and cooks them. I mean, I ask you, what was wrong with the legs in the first place? True, I did get the leg bone to eat and, yes, I did get some of the unwanted skin, but really? What a waste of perfectly good food! It isn’t just that either, there is bread sauce (yuk), cranberry sauce (even bigger yuk), stuffing, pigs in blankets (they weren’t so bad!), vegetables (yuk) and gravy and Christmas Pudding (not for me!), brandy butter and goodness knows what else. He makes them all from scratch, but why? And those sprouts don’t half give them bottom burps!! Not that they admit it, they just try and blame me! What is wrong with just a plain turkey, raw? I might even be prepared to share a bit!

And, whilst I’m on the subject of Christmas, I have another minor complaint. Why, oh why, do I have to have a flamin’ bath? Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my personal groomer, Denise. I love the fact that she lets me play with balls, she lets me do basically what I like and she makes everything totally ‘me time’. But a bath? Honestly! I got in there and I was straight onto my favourite chair. It’s a bit of a struggle getting my bottom on there and then turning around, but I managed it. It took a bit of persuasion to get me into the bath but, in the end, I got in because I realised that protest was futile, it was going to happen whether I liked it or not! But that’s not the end of it, oh no! That was on the Thursday before Christmas and I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I had to stay clean right up to Christmas! I mean, no mud, no dirty kerbsides, no rolling in the grass. It was torture! I did manage to stay clean until Christmas Day but on Christmas Day it rained (as it seems to do most days) and I got drenched and dirty on my morning walk! I have to confess that I laughed my paws off at the thought that I had been expected to stay clean until Christmas and then, ironically, I got wet and dirty on Christmas morning! I don’t think they were all that happy but what do I care? I had a lovely time in the rain and the muddy roads!!! It wasn’t really until opening time (that is presents opening time, not the bar that some of my fans seem so fond of!) that I saw just how mucky I was. Still, what’s a bit of mud between friends!

So, with Christmas over, it was time to look forward to the new year. We went on some nice walks but the weather was dreadful and I kept getting wet and dirty which didn’t go down well with them. When it came to New Year’s Eve, Uncle Don came and he gave me a present too. It is a pheasant, obviously, but he said it was a crocodile! It’s Ok, I forgave him because he is quite old now. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s been flamin’ ancient forever but he’s proper old now! For Christmas there was him (obviously) and Daddy Richard, and Nana and Grandad and Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy, and on Boxing Day Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon came with Albie too. For New Year there was just Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy. Uncle Don and them. He said that after the ‘carnage’ I had left at Christmas it would be better to have a quieter New Year. I haven’t bothered to look up the word ‘carnage’ but I don’t think he was paying me any compliments! Mind you, I’d struggle to remember the last time he did pay me a compliment! Looking back, I suppose I did leave a little wrapping paper behind from my presents but why not? It was the presents and treats I wanted, not the wrapping paper!

So, New Year was a quieter affair. Well, actually, that isn’t strictly true. They, him, Daddy Richard and Uncle Don went round to Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy for drinks at about 8pm. I stayed at home and watched a karyoke party on the telly thing. Then at about 9pm, they came home and he started that cooking thing he does. They had smoked mackerel with horseradish sauce to start. I rather liked that as I got some of the trimmings and the skin which was pretty tasty. Then he did cannon of lamb with fondant potatoes, hassleback carrots and green beans with a port and red wine jus. I rather liked the cannon of lamb because I got the trimmings and the connective tissue which was pretty good too. Auntie Cathy had made meringues for Uncle Don and Daddy Richard and puff pastry mince pies for Uncle Bren and him. Apparently, they were rather good! Since I can’t have mincemeat (the currants and sultanas in it would make me very poorly and could even kill me!) and I’m not really allowed meringue either, I didn’t get to try them. Then they all sat down and watched ‘Rocket Man’ which was very loud indeed! I couldn’t sleep through that!!! At midnight they had bubbles and watched the fireworks in London which were also very loud and then they finished watching the film and we went to bed at about ten to three in the morning. I was completely cream crackered!!! So, today is going to be a quieter day. We’ve been for a walk with Uncle Don and we’ve seen Auntie Angela too. We’ve said “Happy New Year” to everything that moved and if it didn’t move then we smiled and nodded.

So, here’s just a couple of predictions for 2024. Firstly, there will be a general election and we will finally be rid of the most morally, ethically and financially corrupt government in British history. They are doomed because the Reform Party will split the Tory vote meaning they will not return to power for a very long time, if ever. Secondly, the economy will begin to recover through no thanks to the government but because world markets are beginning to recover. Thirdly, 2024 will be a better year for dogs. During lockdown every Tom, Dick and Harry got a dog and then, when it was over, realised that dogs are a bit of tie and so tried to get rid of them. The dog’s charities have finally managed to rehome most of them, so things will return to a better normal. Fourthly, the weather simply can’t be as bad as 2023! It may have been the hottest year on record elsewhere but it flamin’ rained and rained and rained here! Finally, it’s going to be a better year for all my friends and fans. I can feel it in my water that everyone is going to have a healthy and prosperous year! Happy New Year to everyone!!! Frankly, I am cream crackered, so I’m having a quiet day. In fact, I think it is time I pushed out a few 💤. I’ve just done a rather pungent bottom burp and I find sleeping through it is usually best so, for now, must paws … 🐾