I’m bored, really bored!

I’m afraid it’s true. I’m bored, really bored! You see, it is now almost three weeks since my operation and I am still confined to one room. OK, I know it should have been my crate, but there are limits!! Anyway, I’m bored. I can’t go anywhere, I can’t go upstairs, everywhere I go I have to be on a lead. That means I’m attached to him whenever I go anywhere. I want to go for a walk. I want to go for a run. I want to run about in the garden. But I can’t do any of it. What’s worse, is that I have three weeks to go before I can do any of it! It just isn’t fair! I’m not allowed to jump up, I can’t play games, I can’t do anything. I just sit. I really want to do something and I don’t feel like I’m that bad anymore, but he won’t let me. He keeps telling me it is for my own good, but I’m not so sure. I think he’s doing it on purpose. I think he enjoys not letting me do anything! I’ve tried being nice, it didn’t work – he still wouldn’t let me go out. I’ve tried being naughty – that doesn’t work. I’ve even tried being aggressive, but that didn’t work either and anyway, I don’t like being aggressive! (It turns out I was in pain!)

I’ve tried having a woof with him, but he doesn’t take any notice. I’ve actually tried barking at him, but that doesn’t work. Nothing works! I suppose in all fairness to him he has tried to keep me entertained. He looked on Google (that’s the human equivalent of Doogle but nothing like as good!) and found some mind games that we can play. We play a game of which hand where he hides a treat in one hand and I have to guess which one it is in. He tried a game of hide the treat under a cup and I had to guess which cup it was under but that didn’t go so well. I couldn’t be bothered to try and work out which cup it was under, so I just knocked them all over every time he tried! He’s tried to find other ways to keep me entertained but he hasn’t done very well! I’m still bored. Sometimes I really do think that he does his best but the rest of the time I think he enjoys not letting me do the things that I love to do!

I think I may have mentioned in passing previously, but he’s not all that bright … one player short for a game of solitaire, if you get my gist. He doesn’t seem to get the message. I WANT TO GO FOR A WALK!!!! Occasionally, when we have been outside for me to go to the toilet, he has walked with me around the front of the house for a change of scenery. It is torture! I want to go out for a walk and he shows me what I’m missing! I know he thinks he is being nice to me, but it isn’t much fun being shown the one thing that you can’t have. I think I’m better. I don’t see why I should be confined still. After all, it is my hip! Apparently, he says it needs time for the bone to knit around the implant. He says it could pop out or move if I use it too much. And, do you know the worst of it? He actually had the audacity to turn round the other day when I was barking my paws off at him trying to get the message across and say I was acting like a two year old throwing a tantrum! I mean, the cheek of it! How very dare he? If he wants to see what a tantrum is like, you just wait!!!

Now, I know I’m not supposed to jump up, but from time to time the temptation is just too much! Occasionally, if he isn’t actually watching me, I do manage to jump onto the sofa. I’m very careful, I promise. Of course he goes and tells me I’m naughty, but at least he doesn’t kick me off. I think him sleeping on the sofa to be in the same room as me every night finally got to him too. He stuck it out for just over two weeks, but then he clearly decided that he was missing his bed too much! He carries me upstairs nowadays and then carries me back down in the morning. I’ve sort of made my own story up about that. I’ve decided that I am just far too handsome to suffer the indognity of having to climb up and down stairs so I am carried by my minions. It works for me! Quite honestly, I prefer to sleep upstairs anyway so I’m quite happy with the arrangement. He is still getting physio on his arm, so I’m not sure what his physio would have to say about that.

I keep forgetting to mention that I heard indirectly from my friend Myfanwy after the village fete! You see, I think I mentioned that Amanda from Happy Buddies was there with a stall. When he found out he wanted to go and say hello (without me!!!!) so he and Richard went to say hello. It turns out that earlier in the day Sara and my friend Myfanwy had dropped by the stall. They were chatting with Amanda and when Sara said something to Myfanwy, Amanda recognised the name and she asked if Myfanwy knew me. Well of course she does!! So Amanda passed on a woof from Myfanwy which was very nice! When he finally lets me go out for a walk, I hope I’ll bump into Myfanwy … just like I used to before he had me chopped about which has landed me in my current predicament!

Talking of predicaments, I got a bit caught out the other day. You see, I am so bored, I am trying to get at anything around the house. The other day I was a bit loose in the downstairs department. Rather than pick it up, he had to get the hose out. That was when it all went a bit wrong – you see, he washed my problem away and then all that was left was the foot of the phone that I might … possibly … have eaten in the morning! He wasn’t sure if I had eaten it when the small incident happened in the morning, but even I couldn’t think of a good excuse as to how it had ended up in the middle of my poo! He told me that that would teach me not to eat things that I shouldn’t. Well, excuse me! I didn’t leave the phone sitting there at mouth height now did I?! Apparently he is going out tonight (it is Wednesday) to the gardeners’ club thing he goes to. He didn’t go last month because he was looking after me, but this month Richard and I are going to spend some quality time together so he is going. Frankly, it will give me a break from him which has to be good! I don’t know why he goes – I have sampled pretty much everything he has grown this year (when I was allowed to roam the garden alone!) and none of it tastes good to me!

Apparently he has ordered some puzzle toys for me that are going to arrive tomorrow, so that should be good. I’m not sure how long it will keep me entertained, but apparently you hide treats in different parts of it, so that sounds like fun! My friend Lesley gave Richard some special treats for me the other day and I have to say I am particularly partial to the Jerky! I have found that if I sit all innocently and look up at him with my beautiful big brown eyes I can often get a treat out of him. Mind you, more and more I am finding that I have to earn my treats – I think he thinks it is keeping my mind occupied! Honestly, what does he think I am? He found this on Wikipedia which is demonstrably a hugely inferior version of Fidopedia. I don’t really know why he bothers! The more I am confined to just one room, (he does let me move between the lounge and his study when he is in there but both have baby gates on them!) I am coming to the conclusion that I am going to have to use the time to my advantage. I have decided that from now onwards, to alleviate the boredom, I am going to plot all the things I am going to do to him when I finally get to go for a walk … and I have a lot of time for plotting! He is so going to pay for this! So, for now, I have things to plot … must paws … ????