home diary Happy New Year for 2020

Happy New Year for 2020

I know we’re out for a walk but what’s wrong with a quick lay down?!

Happy New Year, Bonne Année, Feliz Año Nuevo, Feliz Ano Novo, Frohes neues Jahr, Felice anno nuovo and finally नववर्ष की शुभकामना. I’m not entirely sure I can do any more languages, my brain hurts! In case anyone really wants to know it is English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Italian and finally Hindi (pronounced “navavarsh kee shubhakaamana” … obviously!). The thing is, it is so much easier in doggie language – woof, woof and more woof! Happy New Year in doggie speak is “Woof, Woof, Woof!” – but then anyone with a fraction of my intelligence would know that. Anyway, that’s it, it is officially 2020. Next month I shall be four years old … where does the time go? Talking of time, I was up very late last night. They had people round for dinner and to see the new year in and I stayed up for all of it. Well, actually, that isn’t strictly true, I may have just pushed out a couple of 💤s shortly after midnight when they were all absorbed in watching fireworks on the moving picture box and signing something called ‘Auld Lang Syne’ – whatever that is. I don’t think they noticed though! It was gone 1.30 in the morning when they finally went to bed and I could take up my position at the bottom of the stairs. Boy was I bushed by then … properly cream crackered!

That’s Sichuan Chicken – the thigh trimmings are luvely!

It was a good night though. Uncle Don came down for the night – I haven’t seen him for about a year! He brought me a fabulous new toy – it’s a Christmas Pudding ball that squeaks as it re-inflates after you’ve squashed it. It’s fab-you-luss!! Of course, as you would expect, it isn’t that popular with a certain person. He says that it’s just going to be very annoying until I break it. Well, I’ve got news for him … I’m not going to break it! I love it, I can walk up behind him and squeeze it and then, just when he isn’t expecting it, I let go and it squeaks with a loud whine. Oh, I’m going to have a lot of fun with this toy!! Anyway, back to my New Year’s Eve party, there wasn’t just Uncle Don – there was Auntie Sue, Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon too. He practiced that cooking thing again – I don’t know why people eat the stuff he produces … the vast majority of it is far better served raw! Actually, I have to be honest and admit that I did do rather well out of it. He ‘cooked’ Chinese food. He did beef with ginger and spring onion – I got all the trimmings from the beef because it has to be extra lean and cooked only for seconds. He did chicken in black bean sauce with chilli – I got all the chicken trimmings as he trimmed and cut the chicken. He did Sichuan chicken – I got all the trimmings from the chicken thighs he used .. and there was quite a bit. He did vegetable spring rolls – I got nothing as it was all vegetable and there was nothing there that I like … I won’t be encouraging him to do that again! He did rice too but that wasn’t all that interesting either.

That’s me (on the left) with my Christmas Pudding ball and Uncle Simon giving me a cuddle! I did hear him saying something about me not being allowed to climb on the chairs but I ignored it!

I got up a little later this morning, although not that late. It was just after 8.00 when I got up. Uncle Don let me go out into the garden and I had a jolly good bark. Then, when I came back in, they were up. Daddy Richard spent quite a bit of time clearing up the mess that he left after all his ‘cooking’ last night. There seemed to be an awful lot of empty glasses around the place too. I had my breakfast but I wasn’t all that hungry really. He says he thinks I might have eaten something but I didn’t get any of the Chinese food last night and there was nothing left out that I could get my lips around … I know, I checked! Anyway, we got in the car thingy with Uncle Don and we all went off for a luvely walk. We went to Kenley Aerodrome and I walked and ran backwards and forwards whilst they walked much slower than me around the perimeter. Mind you, although I didn’t really notice it, Daddy Richard did remind me that Uncle Don is very old! By the time we got back I was really properly cream crackered! It did take me a little while to notice that I was cream crackered but then he was ‘cooking’ lunch and there was always a chance of a tit bit. As it turned out I got nothing so I decided to sneak under the table and push out some 💤s. In the end I pushed out quite a lot of 💤s!

Do you mind? I was pushing out some 💤s!!!

So there we are, it is 2020 already! Who knows what exciting things it will bring. 2019 wasn’t a bad year overall. It was very sad when we lost Uncle Malcolm and we all miss him but there were good things too. I made new friends, sniffed and saw some really interesting things. I had quite a lot of fun, played some good games and Eric came along. He’s only a puppy still but he and I generally rub along pretty well and I show him how to do things – not always things that the humans agree with but hey, I’m not human! I have a feeling that 2020 is going to be a better year. I feel optimistic about things. And that’s despite the lying racist bigot being elected to push the UK off a cliff and ‘get Brexit done’. Anyway, I’m not going to worry about that. When there are food shortages because it can’t get across the channel quickly enough to stock the supermarkets, or the price of food goes through the roof, or when people realise that there isn’t going to be €340 million a week put into the NHS or when they realise that the, so called, immigration problem gets worse, not better, maybe they’ll remember what they voted for … a buffoon who’s ‘oven ready deal’ is even worse for everyone than the one his predecessor couldn’t get through parliament because it was so bad! Anyway, enough said, we’ll wait and see what happens. You never know, his legacy might well be that he was the architect of the break up of the United Kingdom – won’t that be something to be proud of!

I hate that flamin’ Halti, I really do! I”m not wearing it anymore because I refuse to walk with it on!!

One thing I am sure about is that one way or another I’m going to have to stop pulling on the lead. The situation has been deteriorating recently and has not been great. He has started to use words like ‘dangerous’ and ‘unsafe’ about my pulling, which isn’t great. I don’t really know what the problem is but he says something about me being so strong (that isn’t a bad thing!) and that if I pull sharply I could pull whoever is walking me over (that could be quite funny surely!) and that I might jump in the road (well only if I saw something to eat there!), so apparently I’ve got to stop. He has always avoided getting me a dreaded ‘Halti’ but he only went and got one the other day. I hate it. I mean I properly hate it! I wore it a couple of times but I really couldn’t pull and I hated it. By the third time I worked out what to do – I got just far enough from the house to ensure it was a problem and then stopped and refused to move. I’ve done that a couple of times and the end result is that I haven’t had to wear the Halti again since. But he insists that it isn’t over. He says that they are going to find a way to stop me from pulling. He reckons food might be the answer but we’ll have to wait and see. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love food and I’ll definitely walk by his side if I’m about to get a treat … but when I’ve got the treat I run off at 100 miles an hour to make up for lost time so I end up jerking the lead and then pulling twice as hard. This is going to be a project, I can tell!

Do you mind? I was listening to the warthog on a motorbike!

Well there we have it. It’s 2020 and there’s a lot to do. I was picking up my pee-mail this morning and I do wonder sometimes about things people say. Some messages were saying that this is the start of a new decade. Duh!!! Don’t they know that there was no year zero – if the world (I wasn’t born then) went from the year 1BC to the year 1AD with having a 0 then decades must start with a 1 – the year 2021 will actually be the start of the new decade! I left a whole load of comments but I don’t think people will take any notice – they’ll all say that this year is the start of the decade. They’re wrong and I”m right, of course, but there’s just no convincing some! I’ve had a look on What’sYap and it’s all over there. I’ve looked on Poochtome too and there’s lots on there about it being a new decade. Anyway, I suppose it doesn’t matter and there are worse things to worry about it. I’m still totally cream crackered and it’s all too hard to think about it. Daddy Richard has taken to his bed for a ‘snooze’ – by the sounds coming down the stairs, the snooze is a particularly heavy one! I am strangely reminded of a warthog on a motorbike!!! Anyway, I’m going to carefully put my head down and push out a few more 💤s, there’s every possibility of another walk a bit later and I want to be ready for it so, for now, must paws … 🐾

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Iain Pavely
Iain Pavely

Happy New Year Monty!
Glad you had good walkies at Kenley and
that you all seem to have a great New Year’s Eve.
Look forward to seeing you around and about.