It’s been a while! Firstly, let me apologise to all those that have emailed and sent me messages. It isn’t that I didn’t want to write my Glog, more that, for a number of reasons which I shall come to, I haven’t been able to. So, let me start from where I last left you, the clank of a pan in the kitchen. That’s really where it all started to go wrong. You see, it’s like this, it wasn’t my fault – it was Daddy Richard’s fault really. You see, Daddy Richard decided to follow in his footsteps and go and ruin a perfectly good piece of chicken by making it into a curry. There are two things that are odd here – firstly, Daddy Richard isn’t normally the one that ruins perfectly good food by ‘cooking’ it. Secondly, Curry? Do they not realise that Indian food is not English … it’s Indian?! Anyway, Daddy Richard’s curry seems to involves a large amount of onion and peppers and that’s where it all went wrong. Whilst they were eating the curry that Daddy Richard had cooked, I noticed that there was a good mouthful of onions and peppers still in the pan. Well, what was I supposed to do? I jumped up and quickly slurped it up before they noticed. Well, how was I supposed to know that onions are poisonous for me?
It turns out that onions are very poisonous for me! By the morning I was really not feeling very well. I didn’t want my breakfast and I wasn’t really that bothered about going for a walk. As time went on I started feeling even more unwell. By the afternoon I was feeling so bad that all I wanted to do was sleep. I didn’t want any dinner and I didn’t want to go for a walk. We did go for a short walk and I did try to have a poo. That didn’t work out that well either. It turned out that my tummy was more upset than it has ever been. I won’t go into too much detail but suffice to say that there was a lot of noise coming from my bottom and a fair amount of activity but no poo. Anyway, I wasn’t feeling at all well. For four days I didn’t want anything to eat, I didn’t want to go for a walk, in fact, I didn’t want to do anything other than sleep. I didn’t even want any treats. Eventually Auntie Wendy (Radar’s Mum) told him about prebiotics and gave him some. Can you imagine what it was like? There I was, feeling very unwell, and then he came along and shoved a syringe full of prebiotics down my throat! After three days of him shoving these probiotics down my throat I started to feel a bit better. I don’t think it had anything to do with the prebiotics but he does. Finally, five days after I had eaten the onions I started to feel like eating again. A couple of light meals and I started to feel so much better.
Really, that’s when the second problem came along. You see, I hadn’t eaten for five days so I was starving! I was trying to eat anything I could get my mouth around. He said I should have learned my lesson but I was hungry! Fortunately, there were no onions involved and I didn’t eat anything that made me ill again. That said, I did steal bread, biscuits, toast (with marmite) and a variety of other things. I seemed to be in big twubble all the time! I don’t mind being in twubble with him because, frankly, it happens so often – but I was even in twubble with Daddy Richard! I decided to keep a low profile for a few days. It worked rather well until the incident with the cat. It wasn’t my fault! I popped downstairs in the early morning and there, large as life, was a cat sitting on top of the fence! Well, it turned out that it was alive … and brave! I pretended I wanted to go out into the garden for a wee. That wasn’t really true. I ran up the garden to the top and, just as I arrived, the cat jumped off the fence and into the allotments. I nearly got it!!! I barked and barked and barked but the flamin’ cat had got away! He tried to call me in, he even tried to tempt me with treats, but I wasn’t interested. I barked and barked at that flamin’ cat but it was long gone. Then he said we were going to get complaints from the neighbours and I was in twubble again!
So, that’s what it’s been like. There have been a number of garden incidents. That flamin’ cat has been back several times and despite my barking, it gets braver every time! I’ve barked at the fox that comes to visit the allotments from time to time, I’ve barked at the cat and sometimes I’ve just barked! He says we’ll get complaints from the neighbours so now my garden time is restricted too. I had all my keyboard time taken away because he said I was too naughty so I couldn’t write my Glog. Things have slowly been improving over the last week or so. On Wednesday it was Grandad’s birthday so I went to visit him with Daddy Richard (he was pretending to do that ‘work’ thing). We had a very nice time, although I did find it quite tiring. I had a lovely snooze on Grandad’s sofa but that got interrupted when he rang Daddy Richard and reminded him that Auntie Sue was coming for dinner and he was still at least 45 minutes from getting home. He said that Auntie Sue would be waiting outside with her tongue hanging out gasping for a glass of wine! Frankly, although I thought that was a terrible thing to say and so untrue, (those that know Auntie Sue would know she wouldn’t be gasping for just one glass of wine … more like a bottle!) I did think it was probably time to go home so I dragged Daddy Richard back to the car and we went home.
I really should mention the weather. It has been truly dreadful recently. It has either been freezing cold or pouring with rain or there’s been a howling wind. There is nothing worse (well, apart from putting a jumper on according to Uncle Simon!) than sitting down on a freezing cold path because he wants to take my flamin’ photo! Honestly, if it isn’t posing for photos in the freezing cold, I’m getting flamin’ soaked in the rain or having my hair blown off in the howling wind! They did put the Christmas decorations up the other weekend too. It probably won’t come as much of a surprise that I got into trouble then too. Firstly, as the lights were going up outside I had to stay inside. I barked so much that Auntie Zena (Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon help put the lights up … well, actually, Uncle Simon puts the lights up because he doesn’t mind the ladder and he can reach the apex!) called my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Jake, to come down and play with me. Well, frankly, that was no hardship and I had a luvely time with him. Then, when the decorations were being done inside it turned out that I wasn’t supposed to steal the glass baubles, or the other tree decorations, or the table decorations and not even the wire that is used to secure the baubles to the tree so that I can’t steal them! Sometimes there is just no fun in the world!
This week, not only have I been in twubble for my barking, but I got into real twubble with my walking too! You see, apparently he is sick of my pulling. I don’t really understand what he’s on about. Doesn’t he realise I’m in a hurry to get there? I might not know where there is, but I’m still in a hurry to get there! We went out the other day and I had this great idea that I wanted to cross the road. I almost dragged him straight into the road in front of the traffic. Well, that was it! Honestly, the language!!! And I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel with how red in the face he went! He was properly furious!!!! Ever since I have been on such a short lead that I have to walk right next to him and there just isn’t enough lead to pull on. Actually, I’m getting used to it but it isn’t quite the same. Mind you, it makes it even more fun when I’m off lead!! When I go off lead I can run and run and run!!! I have a feeling that this is going to be the way of the future. Me walking by his side on a relatively short lead and then getting to run more when I’m off the lead. Actually, talking of walking, I think I might be able to persuade him to go for a walk right now. I won’t leave it quite so long before I write again but for now, must paws … ?