home diary It’s bin a why l

It’s bin a why l

I’m flamin’ sure that I saw a squirrel in here!

I think I must be the cleverest dog in dogdom – I worked out how to spell the title of my Glog all on my own! In all honesty, I’ve been a bit lazy in the last few weeks. I’ve meant to write my Glog … and I’ve had a few emails reminding me that I haven’t done it … but I just never quite got around to it. I kept thinking of it and then ending up doing something else instead. You see, there has been quite a lot of things to interest me recently. I’ve been to Café Connect – that went well. Apart from a very minor issue involving a cake that someone was holding at nose height, it went pretty well. I can hardly be held to account for that now can I?! I’ve been to see Grandma – that went well. Well, if you ignore the small issue of me trying to get the chocolates that Auntie Jo left for Grandma. I didn’t get them, he stopped me! I’ve been to see Auntie Zena – that went well. Well, apart from the small incident with the cat food and the very minor issue of the nibbles she had put out. All in all it has all gone very well.

Why should I get up? I’m enjoying a lay down!

We’ve been out on some lovely walks. Well, when I say walks, I sort of mean walks. You see I do like to stop for a sniff from time to time. He claims it is every few feet but he’s exaggerating. I don’t think I stop for a sniff more than 100 times on a walk … ever! Mind you, there’s another thing. I think I’ve mentioned in the past that all he does is moan. Well he’s certainly been making up for lost time recently! I don’t see what his problem is. When we’re out for a walk I do quite like a little lay down from time to time. I’m not hurting anyone so I don’t see what the problem is. Just because it’s pouring with rain or freezing cold, so what? I’ve got a lovely fur coat so it doesn’t bother me! I don’t see why I should get up just because they want to walk a bit faster or becase they’re flamin’ cold. What does that have to do with me? Honestly, I get blamed for everything!

No! I am not getting up until I want to!

Talking of getting blamed for everything. The other night they had one of their ‘meetings’ at home. We had Auntie Jean and Auntie Sylvia and Auntie Sue and Auntie Liz and guess what? They got the biscuits out! Now, I know I have explained in the past that he is rubbish at this cooking thing but I have to confess that his homemade hobnobs aren’t that bad. I did my best, I really did … but I just couldn’t get my lips around those biscuits. I tried from all angles and I tried everyone there but to no avail. It didn’t seem to matter how loudly I barked, how hard I tried, how much I tried to jump up, I just couldn’t get one. I should say at this juncture that it was complete mahem! In amongst all this mahem I’m quite sure I heard something about ducking and fog again. I really must try and find out what that’s all about. Anyway, enough about me, what about me? Ah yes, well I think I may have mentioned in the past that I am the handsomest dog in dogdom and obviously I am the cleverest dog in dogdom – just check out my spelling! Well, he says I’m the stubornest dog in dogdom too. I’m not entirely sure I think that is meant as a compliment either. Sometimes he says some very hurtful things!!

If I don’t look at you, you won’t notice I’m laying down again!

So, what else has happened in the last few weeks? Well, not a huge amount really. We’ve sort of been in the routine of getting up, then I nip outside for a quick wee, then I have my breakfast (I don’t half bark if it isn’t ready by the time I come back in!), then we go for walk number one and when we get back they have their breakfast. Frankly as the latter activity does nothing for me I take no interest and usually take the opportunity to push out a few 💤s. Then they do that ‘work’ thing that they both claim to do. Quite often he goes off and leaves me with Daddy Richard because he has to visit a client. I’m not at all sure about that – I think he just goes off to flirt with other doggies … he always comes home smelling of other dogs! Anyway, at lunchtime I generally go out for walk number two which is often just with Daddy Richard because he is still out ‘working’. During the afternoon I generally spend a bit of time inspecting the inside of my eyelids – he reckons I snore when I’m doing that but that can’t be true because that would mean I was asleep! Then, in the early evening, he is usually home and I go out for walk number three. As it’s now dark by that time I have to sniff my way around whilst they carry torches which are mainly used to focus on a particular area when I’ve dropped a two bagger! Most days I walk around four miles but on a good day it’s more like six miles. It really depends on the weather and how keen I am!

It’s funny how we don’t see many people when it’s cold or wet!

Today the weather is cold and I noticed a particularly high amount of p-mail to be sniffed. This morning I got complaints (nothing new there!) that I had taken a very long time on our walk. We did the usual Salisbury Road, Oxted Road, Church Lane, Bay Pond Path and back up the High Street but there was just so much to see and sniff. That and I’m flamin’ sure that squirrel’s been about again. One of these days I’m going to catch it! I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do with it when I do – I seem to recall I ate the last dead one I saw but that resulted in furry poo which didn’t go down all that well! If I recall it wasn’t all that nice anyway. We didn’t see as many people as I thought we would this morning – after all, it is Saturday. I suppose it was because it was cold but who knows. I haven’t seen Eric for a couple of weeks now but he is really growing – I reckon he’s gonna be a pretty big fella when he’s fully grown. I haven’t seen my friend Myfanwy for ages and ages and ages! I think I heard her … or it could have been Carwyn … when I was walking past the other day. We had been for a quick run around (well I do the running) Hilly Fields and I had taken a quick dip in the stagnant pond so I wasn’t exactly numero uno at that particular moment!

Why? Just why?

Last night they made a very interesting dish – salmon fillets with mediterranean peppers and wasabi mash – I didn’t do terribly well out of it but I did get to lick the plate that the salmon had been resting on. Jolly nice it was too … but then even he can’t get a bit of salmon wrong surely! I think the recipe is going to end up on the https://www.foodthatweeat.com website but he‘s a bit behind on updating that website. I suppose it’s because he’s been a bit lazy in the last few weeks too! I was sitting on the settee the other night and he came in and sat down with, what appeared to me to be, a large glass of something amber. I just looked at him and thought why? Just why? What did I do to deserve him? I mean … Daddy Richard’s OK. Yes, he is slightly more obsessed about food than I am (which is saying something!) but he’s basically OK. But him! I mean … moan, moan, moan that’s all he does! Well that and ruin perfectly good food! Do you know the other night they came home from somewhere or other and he got out some perfectly good chicken – 25 minutes later he had completely ruined it and turned it into a curry! What was wrong with it raw? Honestly, he‘ll never learn!!! Right now I think I can hear the clank of a pan in the kitchen so I’d better go and investigate – there just might be something there for me to eat! So, I’ll try not to leave it so long next time but, for now, must paws … 🐾

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