Well what do they expect? It wasn’t my fault! You see, he came home late from work on Monday evening (there’s a change!) and Daddy Richard had had to go out. He was going almost straight out again because he needed to go to the Parish Council meeting to pass on a message (nope, no idea either but I don’t care!). Anyway, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to me. As he came through the door, I went and sat by the cupboard where my food is kept and looked up at him with my big brown eyes lovingly (I can fake it when I need to!). He made the assumption that I hadn’t had any dinner (which was exactly what I intended) and gave me my dinner. Since he was going straight out again, he didn’t have time to take me out for a walk which would have been nice but he sent a text message to Daddy Richard that said, “Monty has had his dinner but no walk”. Daddy Richard immediately responded, “Correction. Monty has now had two dinners and no walk!”
Now, of course, it has been a bit of a while since I have put paw to keyboard but I’ve been a bit busy. Since I last put paw to keyboard I’ve managed to get through one of his shoes, the trim from the bottom of the front door, I’ve brought in enough stones from the garden to build a rockery and I’ve pinched enough clothes to stock an Oxfam shop, but generally life hasn’t been too eventful. Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon have been in Turkey – I’m not really sure how you can be in Turkey when what you should be doing is eating Turkey but humans do do some strange things. They have both been very busy with that ‘work’ thing they do. I’ve had to guard the house on my own quite a number of times. On one occasion they were out so long that Eric had to come down with Auntie Sue and we had to guard the house together. This whole ‘work’ thing is becoming quite irritating to be honest. They go out early in the morning (particularly him) and they spend so flaming long ‘working’ that sometimes I don’t even get my lunchtime walk until much later in the afternoon. One afternoon I didn’t get out until 3 o’clock! What a flamin’ cheek!!! Actually, although this ‘work’ thing is somewhat getting in the way of my walks, it seems that they’re pretty happy with it. They’ve picked up three new clients in the last week which is, apparently, very good! I’m not entirely sure what that means but I have noticed a marked increase in treats recently, so I’m not sure that it is all downside, it appears that there might be some upside too, although they had better remember that I don’t appreciate guarding the house on my own for too long!
Last weekend was a bit busy too. On Saturday Uncle Bren and Auntie Cathy had their annual garden party. They got up really quite early and started cooking ready for the evening. He made ratatouille before popping off to pickup Grandma and take her to Café Connect. I stayed with Daddy Richard for a while and then we walked down to Café Connect so that I could get some proper attention from some of my fans in the village. Everyone makes a proper fuss of me because they all say how handsome I am. In fact, I am the handsomest dog in dogdom but for some reason, I don’t think they appreciate it so much. Well more him really. Mind you, he isn’t all that bright … about as bright as the moon on a cloudy night, if you get my gist! After he had dropped Grandma back to her home he came home and started that ‘cooking’ thing again. Now, I think I may have mentioned this in the past, but he‘s rubbish at this ‘cooking’ thing. He practices and practices but he is clearly no good at it or he wouldn’t need to practice so much. This time it was a goat curry called Mutton Bhuna Gosht (despite what people think, lamb in India is usually kid goat and mutton is older goat), then he tried to cook another curry confusingly called Mutton Curry and made with mutton that we would know (i.e. sheep). Next he tried to cook a chicken curry called Murg Methi (fenugreek chicken curry) and then there was a chickpea vegetarian curry called ‘Chole‘ that they had tried in India earlier this year. Then a bit of cumin rice and some jacket potatoes and it was all done. Quite frankly, why anyone would want to eat any of it is beyond me! I did hear on the tomato vine that the Mutton Bhuna Gosht was a bit too hot … I did wonder about all that chilli powder but who am I to question it?! We were walking through the village on Wednesday and we bumped into one of the guests from the garden party. What did he say? “I’m still paying and suffering from that curry!” It seems that the Chole was one of the more successful dishes, although it was intended for the vegetarians everyone seemed to enjoy it. I’m even more surprised about that because it was his own recipe whereas he followed an authentic recipe from India for the Mutton Bhuna Gosht.
As if anyone would want to make any of the food that he cooks but he’s but the recipes on their newest website https://www.foodthatweeat.com. All I can say is that if you try the Mutton Bhuna Gosht, it is delicious but watch that chilli powder!!! I wasn’t even allowed round to the party until after everyone had eaten and all the food had gone. I wouldn’t mind but on Thursday you won’t believe it but he made me have a bath! I mean, I’m not being funny, but I didn’t even smell that bad. OK, there was a bit of an aroma of dog about me and I think I might have trodden in something, but a bath?! Actually, I rather enjoyed it but don’t tell him that. My newest best friend Lauren from ‘Wag ‘n’ Wheels’ came to the house and I popped into the back of her van where she had a bath of warm water ready for me. All she needed was a socket to plug into so that she could use the hair dryer and everything else was self sufficient. She even gave me a bow tie to wear afterwards!
On Sunday he went to ‘work’ … all flamin’ day! I mean, I don’t mind – usually it’s quite nice when he goes off to work because I get to spend some quality time with Daddy Richard and I get a rest from all his moaning but on Sundays I usually get to go somewhere nice for a proper walk and instead he went off for the day. Something about a client needing a bit of help … pff, what about me? What about my walk? Honestly, sometimes I do wonder … does he just not think? When he came home we were going to go out for a nice walk but it started raining so instead we just went for a short walk so that I could have an ’empty’. Actually, the last week has been a bit rubbish for weather. We have been out a bit but it has been very wet and windy – particularly the last couple of days. It still hasn’t stopped me from having a little lay down on the walks though. This won’t come as any surprise to my regular fans but all he ever does is moan about it. Moan, moan, moan!! It drives me mad! Mind you, there are many things that he does that drive me mad!
Yesterday did evolve into quite a good day though. I think it was Daddy Richard’s idea. We went for a walk through Orchard Lane and Tylers Close into Tylers Close field. I have a luvely time!! I ran about in the field and jumped about in the long grass, it was luvely. Then we went through the gate to walk along the path to the top of The Hollow that leads down into Hilly Fields. The thing about that path is that when it has been raining it becomes very muddy and very slippery indeed. And you may recall it has been raining quite a bit. The thing is, quite a while ago now I managed to pull him flat on his back in the mud. He was covered from head to foot in mud and had to walk back through the village. I laughed my paws off! So, since I was back on the lead because the Haul Route was operational, I tried my best to do it again. Weirdly, when we got to the slippiest bit, where the mud is at its messiest, I was just about to give the lead a proper yank and pull him over when he did something really strange – he gave me a treat. The next thing I knew we were past the muddy bit and the opportunity had past … I’m not quite sure how that happened!
Today we are having a quieter day. Daddy Richard is having a lay down … I don’t know what he’s done that was so exhausting! Anyway, he’s having a lay down and I’ve just helped him to make the marinade and to prepare the chicken for some chicken satay that they’re having for dinner this evening. He did the chopping and grating and then I licked out the empty peanut butter jar and ate the trimmings from the chicken! He says that Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon are coming for dinner – I haven’t seen them for ages and ages!! He has even made some Gazpacho, so I think they are coming. I saw someone called Lisa make it on some TV programme called ‘John and Lisa’s Weekend Kitchen’ this morning. She called it “Gazpachio” – there is no ‘i’ in Gazpacho! And I don’t know what she was making, but it definitely wasn’t Gazpacho! He may be rubbish at cooking but I promise you that even he can serve up a bowl of Spanish cold soup! He has just said he needs to go to the airport and pickup Auntie Zena and Uncle Simon so, I suppose I’m just going to have to push out some 💤s … which I rather like to do so, for now, must paws … 🐾