Flamin’ heck, it’s been a bit of a week one way and another. It all started last Sunday really. I took them for a walk over Hilly Fields. I haven’t been up there for quite a while. I had a lovely run around in Hilly Fields and then all they way up The Hollow. When we got to the top of The Hollow we had a quick look in the field opposite because the footpath carries on through the field almost as far as the Orpheus Centre but the field was full of sheep and that would mean that I would have to go through it on the lead and it would probably have loads of sheep’s poo in it which I’m a bit partial to but they don’t seem to like me eating it, so we went down the Haul Route instead and then down North Park Lane and the footpath back towards the village. It was all going wonderfully until we got to The Green. Now, I’d like to say at this juncture, it wasn’t my fault!! You see, we met a doggy called Laila and she had a ball. Well, what was I supposed to do? Of course I nicked it!!! That’s all part of the game!
As my regular fans will know, I have a bit of trouble with him on a fairly regular basis. Honestly, you’d think I’d committed some heinous crime – not just nicked a ball! He was running after me using language that no dog of my age and stature should hear. Meanwhile, Daddy Richard was apologising to Laila’s humans. I was having a luvely time with Laila’s ball although she was a little less happy about me having it. She was doing that barking thing where she stood and crouched slightly and barked at the top of her voice. I wasn’t listening though – I was having far too much fun. Then, as if things couldn’t get any better, Bo arrived. I see Bo quite a bit out on my walks. She’s luvely but she’s got really bad arthritis and is a little slow. I managed to use this to my advantage because, guess what, she had a ball too! I ran around The Green pinching each ball in turn. I even tried to get two balls in my mouth at once at one point but I didn’t quite manage it. After about half an hour of running around The Green I was completely cream crackered! When we walked back home I had to have a lay down before we left The Green.
Talking of laying down, on Monday I had a really special treat – we went to visit Radar at this home. Radar lives on a farm with Roxy (German Shepherd), Ronnie and Reggie (Frison Biche twins). I had a luvely time! I went everywhere with Radar and he showed me all around the farm and in the barns and in the house and everywhere! We ran around outside and just had the best time ever! I was properly cream crackered and when I went back to the office where both Daddy Richard and him were pretending to do that ‘work’ thing they say they do I decided to have a little lay down under the desk where he was working. I’m not totally sure that Radar isn’t a little bit confused though. I mean, I know I’ve been ‘done’ but I’m still very much a boy! Radar did try to mount me quite a bit which was definitely not in my game plan so I did have to bark at him quite a bit to let him know! I had the best day ever with Radar though and, when we got home, I was so cream crackered that I didn’t even want another walk. Actually, talking of walking, there has been another problem with walking this week – it has been so flamin’ hot! I mean proper hot! Apparently Thursday was the hottest day ever – 38.7℃ … that’s really hot! It has been so hot that I’ve not been able to go out for a walk at lunchtime. My Auntie Jo will have hated it! She doesn’t like hot weather at the best of times! We’ve been going out for a walk early in the morning and then again in the evening when the temperature has cooled slightly and the pavements have cooled down. It has been so flamin’ hot that I’ve found even our usual walks quite cream crackering!
It won’t come as any surprise to my regular fans that he has found something to moan about. You see, it’s like this, when it’s really hot I find it quite difficult to keep cool. What I’ve found is that the ground can stay a bit cooler so as we’ve been walking around I’ve been having a little lay down. To be fair, he doesn’t usually moan that much about me having a lay down whilst we’re walking but both him and Daddy Richard seem to think that having a lay down for 15 minutes or so is a bit excessive! They also seem to believe that not getting up until I’ve had my tummy rubbed is not the norm either. He claims that it isn’t normal – that’s rich coming from him! They both claim that other doggies don’t just lay down for 15 minutes when they’re out for a walk. Well, excuse me! Firstly, who are they to know what other doggies do? And secondly, I am not other doggies!! I have been giving this whole matter some thought and I have decided that I think that laying down and having your tummy rubbed during a walk should be law! I’m thinking of starting a campaign on PoochTome and Twatting about it.
I went back to see Radar on Wednesday and had another luvely time but I got a bit mouthy with him because he was trying to mount me again and, in the end, I had to lay down under the desk with him until we went home. On Thursday he went to work in Crawley in the morning and then came home for about 10 minutes before he went off to Radar’s house again. I didn’t go though because it was just so hot I needed to lay down and try and keep cool and he said that he needed to get on with some work and I was too much of a distraction! The cheek of it! When he came back from Crawley he had a huge bag of vegetables – not one thing for me! It transpired that he was going to make something called Ratatouille in the evening. Actually, that says quite a lot about him that he chose to cook a dish that takes a quite a lot of preparation (chopping) and cooking on the hottest day ever. It turns out that the recipe comes from their latest project – a new website with all the recipes that they like to cook and eat. It’s called FoodThatWeEat.com and they’re quite excited about it … goodness knows why!
My regular fans will know that he can’t cook. Honestly, he spends so much flamin’ time practicing … if he was any good at it, he wouldn’t need to do it so much! Anyway, apparently it was Auntie Wendy who prompted it. Apparently she was talking to him about food one day and he suggested that she might like to cook a Chicken Byriani. He said he had a recipe for it on a private website that he kept for his own recipes. Daddy Richard said to him that they should put the recipes online so that others could get to them, so that’s how FoodThatWeEat.com came about. It’s only been up for a week so there aren’t that many recipes on it yet. Anyway, enough about that – unless I am going to get something out of it, I’m not really bothered. Today the weather has turned. We went out this morning for my morning constitutional (a three bagger this morning!) and it was raining. Honestly, you should have heard the language from him when I lay down half way down Oxted Road! And, you won’t believe this, he refused to give me a tummy rub – he actually said that my tummy was “disgusting”! It does appear to have stopped raining for a few minutes now, so I think it is probably time for another walk. I’m going to drag him down to The Green or something so, for now, must paws … 🐾