home diary Chasing rabbits

Chasing rabbits

Monty searching for a rabbit.
I know there was a rabbit in here somewhere! Where has the little blighter gone?

How can I put this? You see, it’s the law. When I see a rabbit, I must chase it. In recent days I have noticed that as we start walking up Bay Pond path there is often a rabbit sitting around just waiting to be chased. The thing is, I haven’t actually managed to catch one (yet) and every time I try they seem to disappear and I can’t find them again. I suppose it could be that they have some form of intelligent way of disappearing – I remember hearing Richard using a rather odd phrase of “Beam me up Scotty”. I have done a bit of Doogling and have discovered that it is associated with a TV Series which started in the 1960’s (I am not sure if that is before or after the ice age) and was called ‘Star Trek’. It apparently related to a ‘Teleporter’ machine that ‘dematerialised’ people into energy and then transported them somewhere else and ‘rematerialised’ them when they got there. All very SiFi if you ask me! What I have also discovered is that, whilst the phrase is forever associated with Montgomery ‘Scotty’ Scott, it was never, ever said in any Star Trek episode or film – and I thought Alex wasn’t all that bright sometimes!

Monty waiting at the kissing gate.
Here I am, having to wait for Alex as usual. Sometimes he is sooooo slow!

Anyway, enough of that, the simple fact is that I am compelled to chase rabbits and the little blighters keep disappearing. How they do it, I don’t know, but do it they do! Having tried, in vain, to find some rabbits on our Bay Pond walk on Thursday, I proceeded to take Alex on the Hilly Fields walk. No problem with finding rabbits there, but for some strange reason Alex always seems to delay my progress in chasing them just until they get away! I have mentioned previously that he isn’t all that bright sometimes, this is a perfect example of what I mean. There I am desperately trying to chase rabbits and he goes and slows me up in my progress. Sometimes I think that bloke has an IQ equal to room temperature!

Monty waiting at the vets.
Me (obviously) waiting for my turn at the vets.

Now Friday was not a bad day all in all. A couple of reasonable walks, but then I got bundled into the car and off we went to … the vets. Apparently I was due a booster for my vaccinations and a bit of a check up. When I realised we were going out in the car, I dashed out into the garden and had a good run around before Alex could catch up with me. This made us much later leaving than he had wanted and boosted his stress levels to about Stress Factor 50 again! Anyway, I don’t know what all the fuss was about because we got there on time and, when we did, it transpired that they were running later and we had to wait for ages and ages (well, at least half an hour!). There were loads of other dogs in there and I was very well behaved. When this huge dog came in (I don’t know what breed he was) I was a little bit frightened so I went and sat on the scales that Alex had spent 10 minutes trying to get me to sit on. Apparently I am maintaining my optimum wait, so all is well. The booster vaccination involved the vet sticking a needle in me, but it didn’t hurt and I got a piece of chicken from Alex for being good!

Oh come on Alex, keep up!!
Oh come on Alex, keep up!!

It now appears that I am finally going to get my referral for my hips. Alex complained to the Dogs Trust during the week and he got a phone call apologising and saying that the person who was supposed to be dealing with my referral had left and didn’t leave any notes or anything. Anyway, the lady who phoned said she was going to sort it out and when we were at the vets they told Alex that the lady had been on the phone to them for ages and it was all getting sorted. We should hear in the next few days. Anyway, enough about me, what about me? Ah yes, on Saturday it was another trip in the dreaded car. This time we went to Mercers Park which is a country park near Nutfield. It is very nice there but Richard and Alex did discovered one small problem – there are no bins. This was not a problem for me but apparently it was more so for Alex. As we started our walk I felt a ‘call to nature’, if you know what I mean, and produced a good bag full. Alex cleared it up but then had to carry it with him for the rest of our walk. He rather regretted not bringing out his special ‘Dicky Bag’ which is a special bag designed for carrying poo bags and, when used, their contents without smell or the familiar bag swinging around.

Having a wander and a sniff around Mercers Park.
Having a wander and a sniff around Mercers Park.

Actually, I quite like Mercers Park although it is a little limited in that there is just one path that goes all the way around the reservoir that is in the middle. I can see that I might get a little bored with it if we did it too often. That said, it is only a short journey in the car and it is a change of scene, so all in all not a bad place. Those humans amongst my fans (now over 700 in 16 countries!) might recall that the last few days have been rather warm. Actually, they have been very warm. This has made me rather reluctant to go out and walk in the heat. I have been taking Richard and Alex out in the evenings when it has been a bit cooler which has definitely been better. Alex has apparently been researching things that I might like to cool me down – he doesn’t have access to Doogle or Fidopedia but I am led to believe there is a human equivalent (obviously not as good, but I suppose it will have to do). He discovered that one of the things I might like is a paddling pool – Duh! Has it still not sunk in that I like water? Honestly, once again, demonstrating just how dumb he can be. Sometimes I think the antenna doesn’t receive on all channels!

Monty in a paddling pool.
Moi, in my paddling pool with Richard.

So, to my delight, on Sunday morning when it was really warm, Richard produced a paddling pool! It transpires that Alex had actually bought it a few days ago but didn’t want to fill it up because I had just been for a visit to my Personal Stylist, Chloe, and if I got wet it might take away from my rather fetching fragrance! Yet again, evidence that evolution CAN go in reverse! Anyway, fortunately, Richard has a few more brain cells than Alex and he got it out. I sure as heck wasn’t going wait for him to fill it! Oh my woof, it was so much fun!

Alex was absolutely soaked.
Alex was absolutely soaked. It was fabulous!

Now … it doesn’t take a genius to know that when you get very warm and humid weather it is usually followed by rain … which is handy because Alex is a very long way from being anywhere near a genius … in fact, sometimes he is dumber than paint! Which is evident from this afternoon. The skies got darker and darker and the fool only went and put me in Richard’s car and we went out. As we arrived at Limpsfield Chart it began to spit with rain. The silly fellow then decided we’d start on a walk through the woods. Well, within five minutes, the heavens properly opened and it started to rain properly. He got soaked! It was really, really funny! I was laughing my paws off! As usual, he didn’t seem to find it quite as funny as I did. I do sometimes wonder if he has had a humourestomy. (Do you like that word? I found it in my human/doggy dictionary – well it was something like that, although I think it said something about ‘his’ but that didn’t make sense.).  Anyway, the door bell has just gone and I think it might be Jake, Zena and Simon (there was a rumour that they might come to see me tonight), so I’m afraid, regardless of anything else, if you’ll excuse me, must paws … ?

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