home diary I don’t know why he bothers

I don’t know why he bothers

There are memorial wing tips placed the exact distance apart that they would have been on the Flying Fortress that crashed.
These memorial wing tips are the exact distance apart that they would have been on the Flying Fortress that crashed.

Well now, what can I say. On Sunday afternoon I took Richard and Alex back up to Reigate Hill. It was such a lovely afternoon and we had a great time. Reigate Hill is full of history, I discovered. On the 19th March 1945 a ‘Flying Fortress’ (B-17(G)) crashed into the side of the hill and killed its crew of nine people. There is a plaque in the spot where it crashed which starts with the words, “This clearing in the trees was created at 5.42pm on 19 March 1945 …” – now, I don’t like to be critical, but the way that this is written makes it sound like they crashed on purpose to create a clearing in the trees rather than a tragic accident occurred that killed nine young people (the oldest wasn’t quite 25 years old)!

Monty next to a fresh cow pat
Yep, I did – I turned around and rolled straight through that lovely fresh cow pat!

Anyway, enough of this and back to my afternoon adventures. It was such a lovely afternoon and, although there was quite a lot of temptation around, I managed to resist most things … lovely horse poo, a variety of dog poos that had been left by unthoughtful owners, bits of litter people had left, etc., etc. Eventually though, I did succumb … I had a jolly good roll around in a nice fresh cow pat. Boy o boy o boy did that not go down well! Alex had already booked me in to go and see Chloe from Waggies of Godstone for a bath but now I needed it more than ever! He had been complaining that I was smelling a bit ‘Eau de Dog’ and yesterday when I had had a little roll about in some dry cow pats and come out with a new fragrance of ‘Eau d’Cow’ he had moaned even more. I thought a proper roll in something fresh would do the trick. Depending on your definition of ‘trick’, it did! Alex reach ‘Stress Level 50’ once more and even Richard (who is usually much more relaxed about these things) looked decidedly unhappy about the whole thing! I’m guessing that they don’t find the fragrance of ‘Eau d’Cow’ quite as alluring as I do.

Monty posing on Reigate Hill
Just posing for a beauty shot! (Mind you, he got the light wrong again!)

I must say at this point, I had a lovely time on Reigate Hill and we will definitely be returning there in the not too distant future. I am still very much of the view that this car lark is not much fun, but I am reaching the conclusion that it is a means to an end and, if I can put up with it, there are some jolly exciting places to go. Alex did take a photo of my whilst we were out on our walk but, as usual, he got the light wrong and didn’t capture me at my most handsome best! Do you know, I really do wonder about him sometimes – sometimes he’s a few keys short of a piano, if you get my drift! I am the most handsome dog in dogdom and he goes and messes up a perfect photo. Oh well, I shall have to put up with it.

Monty taking his harness to Richard.
I had to take my harness to Richard so that I could take him out for a walk.

On Monday morning Richard was up very early. He got showered and when we were downstairs I think he was thinking of having a nice cup of tea and catching up with the world. How wrong he was. I knew that he had time for a walk before he went to work, so I took my harness to him so that we could go out. I took him for a nice walk around Bay Pond and, when we got back, he still had time for a cup of tea. Alex didn’t even bother come with us but I quite like my ‘me’ time with Richard so that was a bit of a bonus!

I don't know why he bothers
I don’t know why he bothers – they didn’t taste very nice and I spat them out!

Actually, on Monday morning Alex decided that he would plant out his runner beans to make more space in the greenhouse. That went relatively well (for him) and he kept me out of his raised beds whilst he did this. I was quite curious as to why he spends so much time and effort on growing these plants. Why can’t he eat dog biscuits just like me? Anyway, when he popped back to the greenhouse for a bit of string I decided to have a look. I jumped into his bed of newly planted sweetcorn and had a good stomp around before sampling some of the plants. I don’t know why he bothers – not only is it a lot of work, but they don’t even taste very nice – I spat them out before I half jumped and half walked out of his precious beds!

Just pawsing to pose for a photo for my fans!

On Monday afternoon Zena came and looked after me whilst Alex went to the opticians (I wonder whether improved sight might improve his intelligence … nah, probably not!). We had a lovely time, although it didn’t seem to last too long. Alex wasn’t gone very long so my ‘special time’ with Zena was relatively short. I did pose for a few photographs just because I am the most handsome dawg ever seen. Zena took the one on the left and I have included it here – much better than half the ones that Alex takes!

Monty in dappled shade
Dappled shade gave a little light relief from the warmth on Monday afternoon.

Monday afternoon was very warm. When Alex got back he decided we would go out in the car again. OK, I admit, I wasn’t that keen, but I did jump in once I got used to the idea. We went off to Tilburstow Hill where I could take him for a walk in some dappled shade. This was a most welcome relief from the very warm weather and, although he didn’t admit it, I think that Alex really appreciated me going round a second time when I spotted the car after our first circuit of the woods! When we did get back to the car I have to confess that I had probably had enough of walking through the woods and so I jumped back in for the 3 minute drive home! I have to confess that, whilst I still instinctively dislike the car, I don’t find it quite as bad as I once did.

Monty having a lie down.
Having a lie down outside the Youth Centre to rest my weary legs.

Tuesday was another warm day and in the morning I took Alex on a long walk. We walked down the High Street and all the way to Bullbeggers Lane, then up the lane (boy is that lane steep – I though I was going to have to give Alex oxygen by the time we reached the top!) and down Church Lane and into Leigh Place Lane, then onto the footpath that takes us round behind The Glebe House and up into the church yard (why is it called that?), through and finally down Bay Pond path and back up the High Street. Now, although obviously I decided to take him on this walk, I actually think it was a bit far with my dodgy hips. When we got to the St Nicholas Youth Centre, I decided to have a bit of a lay down. I took a few moments to rest my weary legs whilst Alex stood by and watched. (I think he wouldn’t have minded a bit of a lie down too but he had to stand up to take my photo!)

Conducting a detailed survey of all that is sniffable at Horse Pond.
Conducting a detailed survey of all that is sniffable at Horse Pond.

Once I had rested a little we carried on towards home but then I had a brilliant idea – we would go and look at the Horse Pond first! This was a fantastic idea and we crossed the road to go and carry out a detailed survey of anything sniffable. Not only did this result in a whole new set of things to sniff, but it also gave me an opportunity to revisit my ‘lay down and refuse to move’ game again. It was great fun although, as usual, Alex didn’t think so. I would get up, move about four feet and then I would do a quick roll followed by laying down and refusing to move. When we got to one of the benches we met a lady with a dog that she said wasn’t good with other dogs. It made no difference to me – despite her comment, I did a quick dive and refused to move whilst she just sat and glared at me!

Monty after his bath.
Moi! After a lovely bath with Chloe. Could a dog get any more handsome!

We did eventually get home but Alex was grumbling again with something about “it took as long to get back from The Green as it did for the whole flipping walk”. Sometimes there is just no pleasing him! The rest of Tuesday was relatively uneventful until the evening. I had completely forgotten that I was due a visit from my personal trainer, Amanda from Happy Buddies! Crumbs I was so excited when I saw her! We went out for a walk around Hilly Fields where I was able to demonstrate that I can walk on a loose lead … sometimes when I feel like it. When we got to the big field behind Tylers Close I was allowed to run off on my own. Amanda was testing my recall (which is excellent, of course) and I was allowed to run wherever I wanted in the field. Amanda had lovely smelly fish as treats which was fantastic! Alex and Richard both had trouble attracting my attention (well, I was busy running around after all!) but when they did, I did “fantastic recall” according to Amanda, so it must be true. They are going to get a whistle just to attract my attention and then my recall will be brilliant. You may, at this point, be wondering why there are no photographs of this momentous occasion – he forgot to take any! Honestly, sometimes he has an intellect that is rivalled only by garden tools!!

Monty looking handsome!
Am I just the cutest, most handsome, gorgeous dawg you have ever seen? No need to answer that … I know!

After all that running around and then a good roll in the grass in Tylers Close on the way home, even I would admit that a bath was becoming somewhat more pressing. Don’t get me wrong, I love ‘Eau de Dog’ but it was getting quite strong! Alex had already booked me an appointment with my personal stylist, Chloe of Waggies of Godstone, so on Wednesday afternoon there was a knock on the door and there, standing in the doorway, was Chloe and my friend Sara. I had a bit of a funny few minutes though. I love Chloe and Sara and I don’t really know what came over me, but instead of leaping up ready to go for my bath, I retreated and sat halfway up the stairs and refused to come down. In the end Alex had to get some smelly fish to temp me down. He took me outside and, once out there, I was happy to walk down the road with Chloe and Sara. Chloe says I was very well behaved during my bath (what else would one expect) and when I got back home I was beautifully clean and smelling lovely.

Having a lay down.
Having a little lay down on the way home. It was so warm!

In fact, I did rather decide that I was a bit too clean. I took Alex for a walk around Hilly Fields after dinner and on the way around I decided to have a good roll around in a variety of spots so that I could be a little less clean. That was fine, but it was soooo warm. I got very tired and did have to have a lay down a couple of times on the way back. Whilst he didn’t say so, (he never does!) I think that Alex was quite glad of my stops on the way back because I think he was quite tired too. I must say that I did look rather fetching after my lovely bath with Chloe. I can thoroughly recommend Waggies of Godstone if one is in need of little wash and brush up. Actually, just if one wants to look one’s best!

I can’t believe it is Thursday already! It is going to be another warm day. I feel I should take Alex out for a walk earlier rather than later. And, in any event, I have just done a little bottom burp and it appears that those smelly fishy treats are equally as pungent on the way out as they were on the way in, if you see what I mean. I think Alex would rather like to evacuate the house for a while, so I shall take him out for a walk! And, with that, must paws … ?

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