home diary Perambulating around

Perambulating around

Charlie and his Mum
Charlie and his Mum

Following the ‘incident’ on Wednesday afternoon, I decided that a low profile was in order. In the evening I popped down to Jake (and later Zena and Simon) whilst Alex had a meeting at home and Richard went to a different one elsewhere. They do have a lot of meetings! I, of course, behaved impeccably and Jake, Zena and Simon were wondering what all the fuss was about. When I went home I could tell I was still not entirely out of trouble, so I spent the rest of the evening pushing out a few ?s. Alex got up early on Thursday morning because he was going to France. I have looked France up on Fidopedia and I have discovered that, not only is it another country, but they speak another version of human completely! Instead of “sit” they say “asseids” and instead of “fetch” they say “rapporte” (I suppose that does have the advantage of avoiding the recent confusion with the command “sit” and would avoid difficult situations outside Angela’s house!).

Charlie at the window
Charlie at the window trying to get in – he’s actually pretty good at jumping through any open windows!

Whilst Alex was in France he went to see Charlie and his Mum, Irene. Apparently Charlie jumps up just like I do but fortunately he hasn’t got bad hips like me – I’m really not supposed to do it. Mind you, I don’t think Charlie is supposed to do it, but he is a dog just like me so of course he’s going to try! Charlie’s Dad, Norman, decided that he would have to go outside because he had done a little bottom burp and it was quite smelly. Charlie didn’t think much of this and about 2 minutes later he reappeared in the lounge having jumped through an open window in a bedroom. He went back outside again and Norman shut the window so he couldn’t get in again. 2 minutes later Charlie reappeared again – he had nipped round the side of the house and come in through an open door! He’s very resourceful! I have made a note of this to try in the future.

A damp and tired Monty
I was a little damp and tired when I got back and used my big eyes to get sympathy!

Richard was at work on Thursday so I spent the day with Claire from Perfect for Pooches. I always have a lovely time there and so, although I was a bit reluctant at first, I actually jumped into the van when Claire arrived! I had a lovely time but by the time I got home I was a bit damp (I do a lot of running around in fields and things at Claire’s) and very tired. When Alex got home from France I used my big eyes to try and get sympathy and a treat or two. It worked, of course, but he did make me work for a treat! Apparently Alex’s trip to France was successful and he managed to get everything done that he needed to do. Although I am a bit confused because he says he is going to go back again in a couple of weeks … it looks like I’m going to be having another day with Claire very soon!

Richard lying down with Monty
Richard wanted to share my rug and inspect the inside of his eyelids!

I had had another very good day but I was very tired. I needed to push out a few ?s. It turned out that Richard had also had a busy day and he needed to push out a few ?s too. He wanted to share my rug for a lie down – I had to move over just so that he could lie down too! All in all, Thursday wasn’t too bad … tiring, but quite a good day. Friday started well too. We got up, although Alex said he didn’t want to because he was still tired. Frankly, that his problem – he was the one that chose to leave me for the day and go to France! Anyway, get up he did … finally – and then, after breakfast we went for a really good walk around Bay Pond. As we passed Angela’s house she came out to see me. I felt a little bit embarrassed to let her see me make my morning delivery, so I decided to hold on for a few minutes and not embarrass Alex (which apparently it does). Angela was lovely, as always, and she made a wonderful fuss of me. Alex says he is really quite glad she doesn’t read my blogs because if she knew how often I leave her a little present she might not be quite so pleased to see me. I don’t really see the problem, but if that’s what he says then I suppose I will have to believe him.

I had to share the boot with 19 bottles of wine and 2 wine boxes!
I had to share the boot with 19 bottles of wine and 2 wine boxes!

Now, talking of believing him, he only went and did that thing with the car on Friday afternoon! There I was, all excited about a walk – lead on, desperate to jump up but I know I mustn’t, ready to tow him around Hilly Fields, and he goes and bundles me into the car again! Now, I appreciate that dogs are not supposed to drink wine, but I had to share the boot with 19 bottles of sauvignon blanc and two wine boxes … hardly conducive to encouraging sobriety! Alex claims they were for Bren and Cathy and he hadn’t dropped them off yet, but I have my doubts. Anyway, another trip out in the car, down Eastbourne Road, then the A22 to Anglefield Corner and all the way back up Tilburstow Hill Road before returning home. OK, so then we got to go for a walk. There was no way he wasn’t going to do my favourite walk so we went off up Hilly Fields and through to Tylers Close. Now I realise this was where the ‘incident’ occurred on Wednesday but I like this particular walk. There was some risk along the footpath, Alex nearly sat down again but just managed to save himself. He vowed that he would buy a pair of walking shoes to give him better footing – I vowed to try and get him to sit down again!

There is so much to explore on Reigate Hill! It’s just great!

Saturday morning came along and, low and behold, Alex went out and bought himself a pair of proper walking shoes with really good grips so I think that game is now over! Whilst Alex was out spoiling my fun Richard and I went on one of our ‘special walks’. This is where we go somewhere that Alex hasn’t been and then, when we get back, tell him all about what he has missed! Saturday afternoon took a distinct downwards turn for a while. There we were, Richard, Alex and myself getting ready for a walk and boom, he only went and did it again! As the door opened, I spotted it instantly … the car boot was open. Knowing what this meant I tried to resist for a minute, but then conceded and let him lift me into the car (I’m not going to make it too easy for him!). Off we went but, something was different, we didn’t drive around and then come home for a lovely walk, oh no – we went to Reigate Hill. Now, I haven’t been to Reigate Hill before, so I didn’t know what it was like. I mean, I had to get in a car and everything but, on balance, it was probably worth it.

The views from Reigate Hill are stunning, not that I was particularly interested.
The views from Reigate Hill are stunning, not that I was particularly interested.

Oh my woof, did I have a good time! The views from Reigate Hill are stunning, not that I was particularly interested as there was so much else to see and sniff. Actually, very close by to the seat where Richard is sitting was lots and lots of cow dung. I did try it for taste, but found it wasn’t particularly to my liking (I have a preference for horses poo) but I did find that rolling about in it had two immediate impacts. Firstly, it was great fun and I though that ‘Eau d’Cow’ particularly suited me and, secondly, it seemed to send Alex into ‘Stress Level¬†50! “How am I going to get that out of your hair now?”, and “Why? Why does he do this to me?” … actually he seems to ask that “Why?” question quite a lot! And so, sporting my new look and aroma, we carried on with our walk. I really do like it at Reigate Hill. I know it involves getting in the car, but I think it is probably worth it. In fact, I am thinking of taking Richard and Alex back up there again today.

Monty playing with a football
I only borrowed the football, I was going to give it back … and I wouldn’t have punctured it!

One of my slightly less popular games that I played on Reigate Hill was when I popped along and stole a young boy’s football! He didn’t seem at all pleased. He complained “Daddy, that dog has stolen my football and he’ll puncture it”. Spoilsport! Richard hadn’t been paying full attention at this point and had missed my rather clever diversion to steal the football. It didn’t last long though because Alex had it off me in seconds and gave it back with some sort of apology. It did give him an idea though – more of that to come shortly. So, we finally made our way back to the carpark to go home. I wasn’t desperately keen on getting in the car, but I did put one paw on the back just to see if I could climb in. In the end Alex lifted me in and we were home in no time. I am beginning to think this car thing might work out OK in the end, but there is a lot of time for that to happen yet!

A gate on its own with no fence!
OK, you tell me – what is the purpose of this gate? Human’s aren’t always all that bright, are they?

When we got home Alex was straight on his computer (which was a shame because I really wanted to play a tugging game with his jumper!) and, within a few minutes, he was off out (without me!). It transpired he was off to somewhere called ‘Argos’ – I don’t know where or what that is, but what a silly name! After about an hour he came back again with some rather nice tripe chews for me but, once again, he was grumbling. “They send me a chuffing text message to tell me that I could collect the stupid thing and when I got there they said it won’t be there until tomorrow!” (You may choose to substitute the word ‘chuffing’ for another but you get my drift!)¬†Whilst he was gone Richard gave me a sort of bath. I am going to see Chloe from Waggies of Godstone (my personal stylist) on Wednesday – Alex had booked me in even before I discovered ‘Eau d’Cow’. I can’t go before then because Chloe has been in Puerto Pollensa in Spain. Alex was very excited about this because he and Richard used to live there … although that was in the dark ages, I think. Anyway, Richard did his best and sort of showered me and sort of shampooed me. I think he had plans on towelling me dry too, but I decided to have a jolly good shake and then walk off instead.

Playing with my new football in the garden. Great fun!
Playing with my new football in the garden. Great fun!

Having come back grumbling, Alex managed to continue this by moaning that I had gone from ‘Eau d’Cow’ to ‘Eau d’Wet Dog’ since he had been out. Honestly, sometimes there is no pleasing him! Alex cooked more foreign food – this time it was French – I don’t know if that was because he had been to France on Thursday, but it was called ‘Poulet Basquaise’ and, by the sounds of things, it went down very well indeed. Bren thinks that Alex only ever eats chicken (I looked up ‘Poulet’ on Fidopedia and it is chicken in foreign!) but that isn’t true – in fact, I eat more chicken than Alex does. Apparently though, this particular dish was very good indeed – although it did involve an awful lot of prep (whatever that is!). And so, we come to today (Sunday). After a nice long walk around Bay Pond, Alex went off again to this ‘Argos’ place but this time he came back with something. Only a blinkin’ football for me! First he had to pump it up, which turned out to be challenging, although he did it in the end. I barked and barked all the time he was doing it (the pump that came with it turned out to be useless, but fortunately he had another pump which worked) and that made the whole thing even more exciting because he was fast approaching ‘Stress Level 50’ again! Anyway, enough of this, there are things to sniff and more to see. Once again, my trusted friends, must paws … ?

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